You Can Always Quit Later

Despair and Star Wars

2012-01-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

And now for something completely different…

It has been a while since writing. This is mainly due to doing things other than the routine swim, bike, and run. The other things have captured my full attention. My triathlon lately has been drink scotch, play games, and eat loaves upon loaves of bread. Not surprisingly, I am really good at this new triathlon. Quite surprisingly, I am actually reasonably fit. I am considering writing a book about alternative triathlon training methods. I think people have got base training all wrong.

I am now playing soccer and I have been focusing on getting ready for the effort so I won’t be sore for a week after each game. My body has adapted really well to moving slowly in one line which lends itself to pitiful soccer skills. So I have been doing a lot of change of direction running, plyometrics, and core stuff to change my body up. Well, I am happy to report that my first game went well. We balled our way to a sweet victory and I scored 2 goals and had an assist. I am however quite unhappy to report that I broke my wrist in said game. I fell on the same wrist twice. On the positive side, the second time I demolished the wrist was on a lofty clean cross to an incredible header for a goal. I fell over onto my wrist as I crossed it but, in a way, the goal made it worth it. As I was laying on the ground, I winced and thought I had just sprained it really bad. I still had some semblance of range of motion in the joint. The thing swelled up quickly and started looking like a flesh balloon. A very painful flesh balloon.

The next day I headed to the urgent care as it had continued to expand. I promptly found out it was busted. Bummer. This has sidelined me for a while from swimming and my usual groove.

In the follow up soccer game, we smoked a bunch of whiners from Camarillo. We had no business beating them as they were dripping with talent but also oozing entitlement and so they blew it. Unfortunately this game caused a micro tear in my hamstring which has completely stopped my training and cast me into a depressed funk. As you all know, life is pretty pointless if you aren't running around for some self-imposed purpose. I have been a thoroughly worthless log this week. The only thing keeping me going is star wars related humor for some odd reason.

Enjoy

.

This year in review

2011-12-17T12:28:00.001-08:00

Hey all,

So I have been reflecting on this year as a whole. Obviously it was the best year ever as I got married, went to Scotland, Hawaii, got a real job, and won a Ironman. All of which meant a lot to me. But there is much more to a year than several highlights... You are made of all the days no one sees, sweat, and looking into the mirror often. So here is a look into the mirror.

What went right?

- Every race went reasonably well with no overall disasters other than a sunburn at kona that derailed hopes of a fast marathon. Some were better than others but the consistency was really solid.
- I went into the grave during several races including salvaging what could have been a shameful performance at Kona. I went deeper than I thought was possible and that made me really proud.
- I won an Ironman. That was an incredibly gratifying way to end a good season.
- My running improved significantly and, with the help of Jill, I figured out how to properly put intensity back into the training without putting myself into a big hole.
- It was fun the entire year and I didn't burn out at the end.
- I was consistent all year, didn't get injured, and rarely went 72 hours between training sessions of each sport. Consistency is king in triathlon and I put together a great year in that regard.

What went wrong?
-I lost the ability to maturely exercise and became one of those meat-head idiots who goes out and tries to compete whenever people are around. This really impacted my pacing in races. I was less in tune with what I should be doing in races and more interested in competition. Good and bad but mostly bad, especially in longer stuff.

-Overall, I was a little bit sloppy in my preparation for races and careless with nutrition. If you aren't disciplined about nutrition in training, you can expect issues when you are racing and that's what happened. Twice.
- I strayed from steady long TT efforts on the bike which detached me from understanding my pace on the bike.
- Again, I was fairly unfocused in the water and probably should have done more group swimming... but I just hate it so much

Overall the best year of my life in triathlon (and outside) with loads of room to get better.

In other cool news: I listen to this triathlon podcast called IM talk. I am a huge follower of it and listen almost every week. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard that they had given me a shout out for the HITS win. Check it out below... It's pretty funny and made me really happy.

Lookin for fun and feelin' groovy

2011-12-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

I'm a week removed from my last race. I have been content in not talking or thinking about triathlon, which is a huge rarity for me. This last race allowed for a level of closure that I haven't experienced before. I am not over analyzing every detail and don't feel that overwhelming annoyance at small mistakes made during the race.... although I am aware of all of them.... EVERY one. I am not obsessing over them, which is definitely abnormal.

It was truly a race with no pressure.

Despite not thinking about triathlon, I have been thinking about the finish line a lot because it was a huge relief. HITS put out a video of my finish line "experience". They edited out a lot of stuff, for which I am grateful. In the future, I'll have to act like I've been there before. Clearly I havn't. Embarrassing.

Enjoy.

Duh, Winning.

2011-12-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

My first Ironman win!!!

Wow… the headline sounds cooler than it is, but it’s still pretty cool. Wonders of shock journalism.

First off, the disclaimer: it was a tiny race so it's really not that big of a deal, except to me. I was pretty jazzed because I don't win very often and this was a full Ironman!

Caitlin and I talked about winning the race the day before and I was having visions of snapping the tape before I had even started. How ‘bout I Tarantino it and start at the end?

The sun was slowly going down as I hit the turn into the final 200 meters. The race staff, volunteers, and crowd were all lining the finishing chute and screaming. I was jumping out of my skin. Arms spread wide, I airplaned down the final meters, high fiving everyone, and laughing my ass off. Holding the finish line tape above my head was incredible. They had multiple cameras trained on me and I went nuts grabbing the camera and shoving my face in it, spitting everywhere. After the celebration they gave me a slick trophy and the race director interviewed me. It felt pretty nice. I love winning.

FADE OUT!

7 am the whistle sounded and we were off. The water was colder than an abandoned piece of salmon at the bottom of your freezer. I was swimming well and came around the first loop in third feeling relaxed. The second half of the swim was tough as my arms were going a bit numb and felt sort of floppy. Michigan blood served me well and I sucked it up. I managed to stick with the group and I exited the water to see my buddies Christina and Larry. Larry won the Olympic distance race the day before, so we were hoping I could handle business and complete the double for us. Caitlin yelled that I was out in 51:50! 51:50???! Come on. Talk about short. I swam well, but I’m not Michael Phelps.

Off onto the bike and feeling good.

Ballin

The wind was calm and I was focused on getting the first loop done as fast as possible to avoid as much of the wind as I could. As a result, I overbiked a bit and set off on the second loop feeling a little drained. The roads were shit shakers to say the least and each pothole was very leg draining. The wind had picked up and my speed had dropped considerably. Very annoying, however at mile 80 I got to survey the damage and found out I had laid waste to the field. I was clear of second by at least 35 minutes.

It doesn't even look like I'm at a race does it?

I rolled into transition feeling rotten and annoyed that I had to run. I waddled out of transition and up the first and only hill on the course. I settled into my rhythm. I needed to get food on board as soon as possible. Being an inaugural ironman, the aid stations lacked some of the luxuries and volunteer support that the larger races enjoy. Weird gels and incredibly high fiber bars are not a good recipe for long distance racing but not having coke felt like sticking a needle in my eye. That stuff may not be for everyone, but it's my lifeblood. Hollatcha boy, Coke. I took what I could and was ticking off miles at a pretty low heart rate.

Mile 8-14 were a debacle. My gut had completely revolted and the chicken broth and syrupy goop were acting as Che Guevara. I will spare you the details outside of the fact that I got very acquainted with the various port-a-potties along the way. At mile 14, I lectured a volunteer about getting coke the next time they do a race... within a half mile, a race staffer poured me three cups out of the back of his SUV. He then proceeded to stock multiple aid stations that I would lean on like a delicious highly caffeinated crutch. I came around after the coke kicked in and started feeling lucid again.

I finally saw second place. I was at mile 17 and he was at mile 11 and seemed like he was in a tough spot. The next guy was another 2 miles back, but running quite well. I had them covered as long as I kept moving. I kept thinking, “Don’t waste Caitlin’s time. She’s been out here running around for you for hours. Just win and then you can go home and sleep. Don't lose after you've been leading for 8 hours.”

I knew the course was a touch long as I was doing the mental math. Dammit. When you're racing an ironman, the last thing you want to do is run extra. Time doesn’t matter anymore, just win and run fast. I covered the last 12 miles at slightly above 7:30 pace and rolled into the last half mile as the sun was setting. The finish line was better than I could have imagined. After snapping the tape, I looked over at Cait who was grinning like a goblin. It could not have played out better if I had written it.

Caitlin was a COMPLETE LEGEND and saw me at least 50 times on the course. No joke. She got me through some really dark spots. Cliche, but seriously I could not have done it without her.

Great end to a great year. Thanks to everyone who supported me through the year, thanks to evotri, the great sponsors who keep us moving, my friends and family, and Caitlin who is the absolute best.

I love you guys.

In the beginning

2011-11-28T18:33:00.000-08:00

One of my friends asked me how I got into triathlon and it got me thinking. So here it is...

I was a late bloomer of the latest degree. In fact, at 26 I am just now figuring out exactly how to shave and I get carded like I'm Justin Bieber begging for margaritas at an Applebees. My golden years of athletics were elementary school. But damn, they were good. I was dominant at soccer, the mile run, and just about everything you could imagine... I was like the Michael Jordan of North Creek Elementary. But it couldn't last. The testosterone of an 8 year old can't compete in modern high schools and I was left in the dust. But I simply couldn't let sports go. I bounced around from tennis, to golf, to soccer, searching for dominance but the well had run dry. I was pissed and turned to candy as my escape from my sporting woes. I ate more candy than you could possibly imagine. I regularly scarred my taste buds with the strongest candies. Altoids and warheads were consumed by the gross. 20 dollars worth of candy in one sitting was a Saturday morning routine. Turns out I have an addictive personality. Chubbiness soon followed. Meanwhile, my little sister was completely ruining the state at cross country. She was a scrawny little baby and was making everyone look stupid at these races. She was also getting faster than me...

As any prideful big brother would do, I took up running. I ran in the dark because I was completely ashamed of both my blubber and my waddling speed. Seriously. I kept running at night and soon I was enjoying it. I ran for two years and still sucked at soccer, but I was starting to do ok at the practices where we ran.

I decided to forget about soccer and see if my sister's mojo would rub off on me. I joined to cross team. I got so excited and I was running pretty well in the summer. I put in a huge running summer for me and totaled 500 miles in something like 2.5 months which was astronomical compared with my usual running.

I ran well in one meet and then overtrained myself and was completely mediocre. But I had gotten just slightly faster than my sister and I had found something that I liked.

Then came the fateful day. My friend Jessie and I were sitting at her computer talking about Michigan State and surfing around on the internet. She found this thing called triathlon and taunted me saying, "I bet you can't do this". Bullshit. I would at least try.

I figured it would at least be a good way of meeting people and so I went to the first practice of the MSU triathlon club. It was then that I discovered I could ride a bike pretty well and I hit puberty. The perfect storm. I had found my sport.

Big Day

2011-11-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

Caitlin ran her first half marathon and here's the tale!

She has been training for around 4 months for this and pushing her mileage up slowly to the point where the next logical long run would be 13.1 miles. On Friday, we headed up to Santa Barbara to register and crash at a hotel. We got her checked in and ready to go. I saw a bucket of sample lara bars and took roughly 50 of them for later indulgence. Then we headed to get a massive meal of barbecue turkey and brisket. Food coma ensued which made our musty motel 6 room much more appealing.

Race day came and it was clear, comfortable, but windy as hell. No worries. We headed to the start and Cait prepped her Ipod with Dave Ramsey podcasts of all things...

Who the hell listens to financial podcasts as motivation in a race?

THIS GIRL!

The race blasted off and Cait got rolling. She was super nervous so the plan was to cruise through mile four imagining it was a training run. I was biking on my Quintana Roo which would help me play sag wagon/ race support for the day. I saw her at the mile and she was comfortable and smiley. Good sign. I took off to catch her at another point and promptly got lost. My race issued fisher price map was of absolutely no help as it just showed toilet icons and water icons instead of useful things like street intersections. Dumb.

I found an overpass around mile three and waited but she didn't pass by. I missed her so hopped on the bike path and missed her again at another point. The marathon and half marathon had merged so it was impossible to gauge the pace of the runners. 6-8 thousand people or whatever made it like a horrible game of where's waldo. I took off again and rode on the course ignoring chastising comments from race officials and police officers alike. Just as I saw the lead men for the marathon hauling ass up a hill, I found Caitlin. She was at mile 6 and blasting financial podcasts. It was hard to get her attention but she looked good, relaxed, and still smiling which was a good sign.

I biked with her for a bit and then she got annoyed with my hovering and sent me up the road. I proceeded to become a human mile marker and cheer for about a mile's worth of runners while waiting for Cait. The course was tough with wind and some massive uphills, but there was live music on the side of the road at around 5 different spots which was distracting and pretty cool.

Cait was clipping off the miles and I saw her at mile 10 which was the toughest part of the course. It was a half mile long climb at about 8-10% gradient. If that doesn't mean anything to you, just imagine something you don't want to run up. Cait and I had talked about this point in the course as basically the end as it was all downhill from that point. She tore into the hill just chewing it up and staying relaxed. She really made it look easy while all around her, people were crumbling.

Good illustration of pink lady running with marshmallow form and Cait looking like Craig Alexander. Mercenary.

She crested it and rolled down the huge slope to the finish line and even had enough to out kick a college age guy with 200m to go. It was hilarious. Cait actually has ridiculous footspeed to the point where when she is kicking it pushes me to stay with her. I have seen her finish a run at 5:20 pace up hill! She unleashed her patented kick and this guy foolishly tried to counter. He was shown a clean pair of pink nike heels as Caitlin finished her first half marathon in a time 6 minutes faster than expected! Awesome.

She also earned one of the largest blood blisters in history for her efforts. Look away if you are a cry baby and the human body makes you tremble with fear like a coward.

BOOM goes the dynamite

American verification

2011-11-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

So my last update included a 400's workout in which I, in theory, ran much faster than ever before. Suspiciously faster. Usually my absolute fastest 400's are around 69 seconds. In that workout, I hit 63 seconds for a 400. I felt great but 6 seconds doesn't just come off like that so naturally my first thought was to blame the track for being inaccurate. It was a dirt track with no lanes so I thought maybe it wasn't quite up to snuff.

Naturally, I couldn't leave it alone so I promptly set off to confirm the accuracy at a trustworthy American track. I had some 1 minute fartleks scheduled so I changed the route to end at a track and had some of the intervals changed to 400's just to check. I hit 66, 66, 65, 63! I was wrong to doubt the Finnish track. It was bigoted of me to think that 400m is somehow less in Finland and for that I am deeply sorry... but I had to be sure.

I am so pumped with that speed. Cutting 6 seconds in a 400 over one season really is getting me geeked.

And with that, I am definitely in for the Ironman in December!

Misc.

2011-10-31T01:35:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

I am currently in Finland. The trip over was a brutal 20+ hours of travel. I despise flying mainly for the desert-like lack of humidity. I hate drinking constantly and staying thirsty. Obviously the problem is exacerbated if the trip is interminably long. But, I did get a chance to read which I never seem to make time for when I am staying in one spot and have endless amounts of free time.

I am nearly finished with Iron War, the new book chronicling the 1989 Ironman World Championships. It is one of the best races of all time, with Dave Scott and Mark Allen slugging it out with the decisive move happening at mile 24. It is literally insane to watch/ hear about. The book is definitely not a disappointment as the subject is too good to ruin. It’s sort of like baking…generally if the food has enough fat and sugar in it, it will taste good. It’s hard to mess it up.

The writing is not exactly spot on but the angles the author takes on mental toughness, perception of fatigue, and the background of Mark and Dave are pretty interesting. I love Dave Scott. He has the biggest balls in history and, in defeat, you see truly how deep he can take it. He ties up completely like a 400m runner down the stretch in the last 2 miles and his form breaks down. Any other athlete would slow down, but he forces his body to accelerate despite a complete systems failure. He is so tough he literally can will his body to do things he shouldn’t be able to do. In the end he loses but in the most bad ass way in history. I like to watch people who race like animals and don’t cave mentally no matter what.

The race in my opinion is bittersweet as I don’t think it is indisputable that Mark Allen was the strongest on the day. I think he raced a tactically perfect race and did what he needed to do to win as he shadowed Dave Scott. But the bottom line is Dave Scott dictated and did the all the work until mile 24 in the marathon. Mark Allen drafted his way to the win but Dave Scott raced arrogantly and that’s what happens. Either way, both of those guys are hard as hell.

Back to real life, I am looking forward to exercise in Finland as it is just like Michigan. Fall is my sweet spot for training. I ran last night at 8pm and again today at 4:30 am and I am starting to feel excellent. There is a pool 5 minutes away from my hotel so I swam after work. I got done, took a nap (damned jetlag) and went for another run. I found a track midway through and decided to cruise an aerobic mile. To my shock, I finished it in 6:12 and felt SO easy. I decided to open it up and run some 400's. I came around feeling super easy and looked down to see a 71 on my watch. Whoa. That was stupid easy so I shifted gears. The next one was 65, then another, then another. I couldn't believe it. I was ticking off 65 second 400's like it was nothing and then I finished with a 63. I felt like I was on fire. I am actually a bit suspicious that the track was off... I don't know why but I am just going to have to verify that workout on a good old-fashioned American track. I don't know what the meter to meter exchange rate is in Europe. Eh, just means another speed day.

After today, things are looking good for the December Ironman. Still up in the air, but I should be able to decide by the weekend which is hyping me up so much.

Kona: Aftermath

2011-10-27T18:20:00.001-07:00

‎"In truth, the pleasure comes less from the suffering but from the knowledge that we overcame the impulse to relent."

No idea where that quote came from. I snaked it from my buddy Ken. It is excellent and I think it sums up how I feel about Kona. However, I take no pleasure in my performance athletically. The bottom line is that it was a death march that was about damage control and not speed.

In the weeks that followed, I chewed over this and, honestly, I am bitter about it. I feel like I wasted some good run fitness on an Oprah speed marathon.

So...

I am thinking I may go after another Ironman before I take a year long hiatus. The HITS triathlon series is putting one on in December basically in my backyard. The roads are licorice and I like the area. I may just get one more bang out of my fitness buck before the year is out and take a crack at running a fast marathon.

I know I am a stubborn mule. I don't care.

The decision is still to be made. I am off to Finland on Saturday and I will probably make the call when I am traveling depending on how I feel. It's also my birthday.

Kona part III: conclusion

2011-10-13T15:09:00.000-07:00

To be honest, at the point we left off, finishing was a huge question mark. I started running and the wind and cloud cover allowed me to move again. I couldn’t believe it! I was running again and feeling ok. Not much to say about mile 13-22 except that I kept the recipe the same. Minimize time losses and keep temp down. I was running much faster though. I kept looking up, preparing mentally for the energy lab. This is theoretically a soul sucking stretch of the course that takes you through a solar energy field in the middle of the lava fields. What a heinous place to run. However, I found that the energy lab is way over hyped compared to Ali’i. I will take 4 miles of heat vs. 10 miles any day. I blasted through it. I saw Matt after the energy lab, hugged him and said, “I love you buddy, get through this and we don’t have to do this shit anymore for a long time.” He was in full-on stagger/death mode but he had come too far and the fastest way back to town was to run. People who know Matt know he can take it deeper than just about anyone. He nearly killed himself doing three lengths of a pool underwater… he chose to black out rather than to come up short and not get to the wall and he nearly died. Ridiculous, I know, but it is a story for another day.

I looked at my watch at mile 22 and it seemed possible to get under 10 but I would have to book it. I was still stopping at each aid station but running 7:15- 7:30 pace between them which was way closer to my projected pace. I was officially off death’s doors. However, the renewed quest for sub 10 put me back on the doorstep very quickly. I hit mile 24 completely smashed as I headed up the final hill. On my limit, I tumbled down Palani and nearly fell over. I was completely ragged as I headed towards the pier. Words can’t describe how out of control I was during the last 2 miles. I threw up bile 6 or 7 times and ran into a side railing as I staggered into the finish. My buddy from MSU, Greg Boyd shouted that I had two minutes to go sub 10 and I found a small pathetic burst but it was something. My vision kind of blurred and I lost focus on everything aside from the clock, blinking in the distance. I hit the finish chute and saw 9:59:55 ticking and was too far out. Damn it. I eased up the final 10 yards and crossed at 10:00:09. I swayed and collapsed into the volunteers. They tried to put one of those stupid flower necklaces on me and cover me in thick towel. I refused both. I was completely fried. I did not need a thick towel and flowers are just pretty trash in my opinion. The volunteers dumped ice water over my head as my vision flickered in and out. I was carried into the med tent and hooked up to an IV. My family (Caitlin, Rachel, Dad, and Mom) wasn't allowed into the med tent to see me but sent a note saying they were proud of me and loved me. I teared up as I spilled hot chicken broth on my chest. I sat up and hobbled out of the tent to see my family. They are the best.

I felt much better for the next hour and saw Lauren, Kiplinger, Boyd, and the Inch clan. They all came in for the race and were ridiculously awesome super fans. Boyd, Kiplinger, and Lauren even made tricenter at the Hawi turnaround!

Things started to go south after that. I wandered into the transition to collect my things and headed back out...it must have been 5 minutes total. In that 5 minutes, I went from chipper back to black out mode. I was using my bike as a walker when my Mom saw me. She and Eric carried me back to the car. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open again as I was ushered into a bed. I was third-spacing electrolytes and swelling like a pufferfish. This made it tough to poke a vein but we finally got an IV started. One liter later and I was still in and out. We popped in another and I drank a couple sips of tea and broth. Finally after another liter, I was back in business... It was a long day.

After a couple days of thinking about the race, my overall thought is that I made good decisions the whole day and I don’t think I made any glaring mistakes. The pacing was dead on, the nutrition was too, and when I went into system failure mode, I did what it took to minimize my losses. Like I said, the one thing I would change is wearing a long sleeve shirt like Thunderbear. I think this may have saved some problems on Ali’i but hindsight is annoyingly accurate or however the saying goes. I wore sunscreen and was ready for the heat but the sun was something I hadn’t fully comprehended. Overall a 10 hr Kona on the first go around is pretty satisfying, especially considering it easily could have been an 11 if I had allowed it. I am not buying into the ‘oh woe is me’ perception that this is an impossibly difficult course with a mind of its own. It is a problem and all problems have solutions. I was very close to nailing it and I will next time.

Kona part II: the gates of mordor

2011-10-12T18:50:00.000-07:00

After getting a bad split down to Matt at the halfway point of the ride (see part one), it was a good time to get aggressive as the downhill back from Hawi was a bit sketchy due to the crosswinds. I figured this would make him slightly cautious. That part of the course rewards risk and I decided it was the time to take it as it wouldn’t really require much effort just some nerve. I bombed down and as we turned back to the Queen K, I was only a minute down! I had pulled back 2 minutes in around 15 miles and I was happy again as we started the tough section back into town. The headwind was constant on the way back and I put the pressure on as the 1^st half heroes dropped like flies. Matt came back to me around mile 85 and was looking ragged. I figured he was in trouble and was a victim of the 1^st half pace. I took off hoping to drop not just him, but his pack. If one person stays in contact, chances are the whole group will, which means he would get a free ride back into town. No chance. I hit the gas and looked back 10 minutes later to see a big gap.

I rolled into transition clocking in at 5:03, which was dead on my projected split.

The bike course was ready to get smashed as was proven by the pros. It was mild and the roads are like licorice. It actually is a relatively easy course outside of two factors that everyone knows: the wind and the sun. The wind wasn’t too bad on our day, which was unbelievably fortunate. The heat isn’t noticeable but the sun is an absolute killer and the exposure derailed my race. Literally the only thing in the entire race I would change if I could go back is to wear a long sleeve shirt on the ride. I nailed nutrition, nailed pacing, nailed power spikes, but did not realize sunscreen wouldn’t be enough for me.

I moved off the bike feeling fresh in the legs but rotten in general. I couldn’t figure it out. The pace out onto the run was slower than normal but I still ticked off a 7:30 first mile. The second mile was completely torpedoed and I staggered to a stop. I was like a beater car, dying on the side of the road. I saw my Dad and said, “I am completely fried. I'm overcooked.” He said it would come around, but I was convinced it was over. It was the first time in a race where I nearly pulled the plug. I had concrete thoughts of the dreaded letters DNF. For those of you not of the triathlete persuasion, this is the abbreviation for “did not finish” and is a source of incredible shame for us. I prayed again for anything.

My core temp was through the roof and Ali’i drive was well into the 90’s, with no moving air, and completely exposed to the sun. I had visions of Norman Stadler, a former world champion, pathetically hiding under a telephone pole for shade and kept thinking, “you are Norman now, you idiot.” I walked a half-mile to an aid station and drenched myself in ice water, put ice down the shorts, ice on the palms, took water, took coke, and had a gu. Anything. Desperation move. I started running again thinking, “What the hell. I’ll be in the med tent anyway, can’t hurt to give it another go.” I was moving, albeit slowly and getting to the next aid station was the only focus so I could lower my core temp again. The ice on the palms was starting to kick in and my pace was starting to slowly come back to me. I was still moving gingerly as coming back from the grave is not something you can rush. Every aid station was the same. Four cups of ice, 3 to the groin, and 1 for the palms. I was moving again! The heat had really poisoned the system and my gut had shut down. I was in the john for the first time in a race. Still moving though. That’s all that mattered.

After the pit stop, I saw Matt and yelled for him to bridge up to me so we could get through the day together but he was a mile or so back and looking as bad as I was. No dice.

I hit mile 8 and was nearly off Ali’I drive. I looked to the sky hoping the clouds would roll in. I prayed again and turned up Palani drive at mile 10 to see dark skies. My family and friends were on the side of the road, screaming, as I was unconscious on my feet but still moving. I started walking up the massive hill on Palani and talking to my sister. I had this in my head from the moment I saw Palani. Walking is the only thing that would make sense. Spiking your heart rate in a race like this is a death sentence and anything faster than walking would spike mine. In my damage control mode, I was particularly keen on this plan. Walking sounded excellent. I told Rachel that the walking was an investment in the back half of my race. I wasn't sure if that was true. It sounded smart but it hinged on whether I could get my head on straight and run.

Ironman World Championships

2011-10-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

The day started out great. I woke up super easily as 4 am felt like 7 am to me. In that respect racing in Hawaii is great… not so much in a variety of other respects. Matt and I made our way to the pier and ticked all the routine transition items. I racked the QROO and headed over to the swim start.

We also made it into the slowtwitch gallery which was pretty cool…

For the first time in about 3-4 years, I was actually nervous for a race. It wasn’t uncontrolled nerves, but I was itching to get the race going. The wind looked super calm when we walked into the water. As we waited for the cannon, I took it all in while doing some floaty backstroke. It was unreal. The crowds were enormous. Cameras everywhere. Mike Reily blathering about God knows what. Needless to say, the energy of the racers was off the charts.

I lined up on the inside as I was trying to read the surf a bit. Turns out everyone else read it the same way and I quickly realized I had made the first positioning mistake of my Ironman career. The gun went off and I was completely molested throughout the first kilometer of the swim. Shockingly, I was intentionally dunked by a highly aggressive and unstable woman! Some guy took a swing at me for hitting him in the legs… I finally realized what people were whining about in Ironman swims. I usually get clean water but when you are around people, they lose their ever-loving minds. No matter, as it strings out eventually. I just tried to stay calm and patient.

The swim was a long out and back and I rounded the boat that marked the halfway point feeling comfortable. I was swimming well and feeling pretty relaxed. I started to get a bit weak and tight in the lower back towards the end of the swim as my core started giving out a bit but no worries and I hit the pier clocking in at 59 minutes. Just a tick under an hour. I was in and out of transition super quick and excited to start the meat of the day.

Overall the swim was sort of choppy. You can generally tell if you are swimming well or not and I was, so I was satisfied. Triathlon isn’t done on a track or in a pool so time is a tough gauge, even year to year, which makes things frustrating to track and measure performance but also makes the sport not stupid and boring. I digress.

The first part of the bike felt very poor. The power was not coming very easily and my heart rate was quite high. It happens sometimes to me in Ironman so it didn’t freak me out and I just rode without thinking. I saw Matt only 2 minutes up the road and got a bit of a boost as I thought I would roll him up pretty quick. Wrong.

I got out onto the Queen K highway and the wind was completely dead! I was praying it would stay that way as I started hitting my stride. I tried to stay in my zone as people just blasted through me. I couldn’t believe it… through 40 miles I was averaging 24.2mph and I was getting dropped by pack after pack. Welcome to the world championships. I was figuring not everyone passing me was going to ride a 4:40 bike split so I just kept things under control and waited until the nastiness would start as it inevitably does in every Ironman.

The climb up to Hawi was really rough for me. The trademark head and cross winds were there but definitely milder than usual, but I just was struggling with the power at that moment in the race. I hit the halfway point and had lost time to Matt for the first time since I started riding a bike back in first grade. I was now 3 minutes down and furious. What to do?

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to our hero's incredible journey to the gates of Mordor and back.

KONA

2011-10-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

So this is my third day in Kona. It is crazy. The energy here is something unlike any triathlon I have ever seen. It is the superbowl. Quite frankly, it feels like being on a movie set for me. I have watched nearly every year’s race so seeing the Lava Java, the Queen K, Waikaloa rd., Kawuahae, and the climb up to Hawi is surreal.

I have also seen basically all my idols in the sport. Jan Frodeno, Javier Gomez, Macca, Rinny, Julie Dibes, Crowie, Marino, Norman Staddler, Tim Don, Jordan Rapp, Chris Lieto, The Raelerts, Conrad Stoltz, Dan Hugo, Paula Findlay and I am sure I am forgetting some. I am probably more of a fan of this sport than I am a racer quite honestly so I have been basically star struck since I got here. Ironically, it doesn’t happen in Calabasas where Britney Spears, the Kardashians, Ozzie, and Will Smith live. I guess it’s cuz none of them could run a 30 minute 10k. Well…maybe Ozzie in his prime.

Anyway, we swam at Dig me beach yesterday. Great swim out to the floating coffee bar. My stroke is feeling really smooth and I don’t think the non-wetsuit swim will bother me so much. The water is clear and super salty so buoyancy isn’t too much of an issue. After that we went to the Rudy Project booth and got free Aero Helmets!!! Just for racing on Saturday! I couldn’t believe it… the Rudy Wingspan helmet was my choice for the cross winds/ ironman distance due to the ventilation and short tail that is ideal for the side gusts. I couldn’t swing the cost prior to the race but I can definitely swing FREE!

We then headed out to ride up to Hawi. The wind…. Wow. I have never felt anything like it. Truly out of control. I have never felt so unsafe on a bike. Riding into it is scary as it is so unpredictable and comes at different speeds and from different angles. Riding with it is terrifying as you pick up speed and experience the same thing. I nearly lost control of my bike at 45 mph… it freaked me out. Pray for a calm day out there, bloggers. Our hero isn’t prepared to pin it in the aero bars and hang it out in 30+ mph gusts… I don’t mind a hard ride but I mind dangerous. Guess I’ll figure it out on Saturday.

New me...it's bananas.

2011-10-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggers,

I missed all your smiling virtual faces. I guess you deserve an apology for my lack of blogging consistency. You aren't going to get one. I dropped off the blogging grid due to large training and better things to do. I know that is hard to fathom.

What I can do is give you a quick update before I head to Hawaii for the Ironman World Championship. I have obviously been training a good deal to get ready for a full day of frolicking around in the lava fields. The training has been going immaculately. No sickness, no injury (more or less), just consistent work.

I am flying in my test workouts and I think I could absolutely annihilate the Ironman Florida course. I am demolishing the times I put up last year in my test sets. Bigger watts, faster running, same heart rate. Sadly this is not the same course and I have no real understanding of how the conditions will impact my race. I only know that they will. Another thing I know is that I am the fittest I have been in my life and that is the best I can do. I am putting out watts so easily it's stupid. I would list the stats but you would think I was lying. I am actually running well too which makes no sense to my small brain. I am literally trying to slow myself down and I can't...It would have been suicide pace last year. My swimming is coming around to the point where I am not terrified of a non-wetsuit swim which I didn't expect. Perfect storm... now I just have to rest and not get sick. I can't believe the race is almost here.

Just to put this on the record, Jill Savege is the best coach in the world. I have been her worker bee and I am suddenly tearing my own legs off without even thinking about it. It's insane how well she has this dialed in. If this race goes poorly, it will be on me.

I fly out on Monday.

Quintana Roo and Lake Stevens Half Ironman

2011-08-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

HUGE NEWS: Team Evotri has just partnered with Quintana Roo!

The team will be riding slick new QR bikes and I will be taking mine to the big island for the Ironman World Championships. I am getting fitted on it on Thursday so stay tuned for pictures and maybe videos of the fitting and the new rig. I will be racing it this weekend. No better way to break it in than a race.

I am stoked because they make the slickest tri bikes and aren't confined by the ludicrous UCI so the innovations flow. Thanks QR.

It's been a while, lovely blog trolls. I have been a lazy piglet and I apologize. You are doubtless wondering what I have been doing with my time as you probably assume it has been a magnificent and efficient use of it...Wrong again, bloggers. But I have been doing some things.

For example, I recently traveled up to Seattle to help my MSU buddy, Aaron Scheidies race at Lake Stevens 70.3. He is blind and needs a guide to race. He is also incredibly fast, a world champion, espy nominated, world record holder, and general beast.

He called me up three weeks prior to the race. Prior to that, I had been mainlining bacon and chocolate for a month. I was woefully out of shape when he told me he needed a guide for this race. I reluctantly agreed against my better judgement. The next 3 weeks were a whirlwind of getting into shape which included frequent bonks on the bike and many horrible pseudo-drownings masquerading as swim workouts.

I got to a point where I felt ok about going into the race but still didn't know what to expect. We haphazardly made our way into the water. The para triathletes go off with the female pros so we got clean water and a good pack to swim with. It didn't matter for me. I got worked over in the swim and my poor swim fitness shown ever so brightly. Scheidies sand bagged for me, dropped me, and swam all over the place. Finally, we were both out in 29:46. Damn. Bad start for me.

We jumped on the bike and unleashed the green MSU freight train from hell. We brought death and pain to half of the pro men field. They were pushing tiny teacup gears as we were bringing rolling thunder down on the pacific northwest. For me, the fitness on the bike was WAY better than the swim. 2:23 later, we were onto the run.

The run started out super conservative and we chatted until mile 6. Scheidies got a bunch of goodies from a friend to launch into the crowd. We had several firework poppers that we blasted off. Shirts and sweatbands were unleashed upon his fans. People went nuts like it was like the halftime at a Detroit Shock game. BALLIN. We started on the second loop and kept it super comfortably, slightly edging the intensity up for the last 3 miles. We finished in 1:30 for a total time of 4:27. Overall, probably the most comfortable half iron I have done.

We finished 11th amateur and 25th overall.

Now starting on the next stage of Kona training.

Honeymoon retroactive photo dump

2011-07-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

In my haste to communicate the baller-ness of our honeymoon, I neglected to include photos. This was counter productive and led to boring, sub-par blogging. You guys hate reading and I hate myself for subjecting you to my text-only garbage that I pass for writing . Here is my apology...

Raiding trash cans to tie down our bike bags.

Caitlin in nerd pose before unleashing her fury on the battlefield

Caitlin double fisting

This is our paintball instructor. We could barely understand a word he said. All we heard was, "blah blah blah man-kini blah blah." We looked at each other.... Did he just say man-kini? Sure enough he did. Then Caitlin shot him in the head 3x and in the neck once.

Trying to find buildings that look like Hogwarts in Edinburgh is like shooting fish in a Barrell

Scotch World Tour! Where dreams are born...

Epic Loch Lomond.

I told Caitlin to do a superman pose... THIS is what she came up with?? Timidly poking her head out of the phone booth?

THE TRUTH WITH PICTURES

2011-07-27T17:29:00.000-07:00

Finally I can resume honeymoon related tales as I now have photodocumentation to prove that I am not lying about everything as I usually do. Without further ado: THE TRUTH as I see it, with pictures.

We both woke up in Callander in slightly cranky moods and feeling the miles in our legs. We had too much breakfast and started the ride out bloated and irritable. To make matters more annoying, our saddlebags kept flying off. It happened at least 6 times with no end in sight.

We got a bit lost but started to find our rhythm as we arrived at Loch Katrine. Loch Katrine has one ferry to the other side leaving at 10:30… we missed it by 30 minutes but I was pleased as it meant more biking. We stopped at the ferry point and luckily a bike rental place was stationed right there so we filled the tires and got a garbage bag and stole a spare bit of rope to tie around the bags to keep them from flying loose. Also, they had one of those strange old timey bikes with a giant front wheel and a tiny back wheel. I have never tried one and thought it couldn’t hurt to ask. He gave me the thumbs up so I hopped on… Caitlin said I was an idiot but some small child told everyone who would listen that I should be in the circus… to which Caitlin said, “You have no idea, kid”. Check out some pics of me in action.

Superman shot...such a cliche

This one's for the kids

Grabbin life by the horns

Ballin

The sun was now out in full force, we had each had a Snickers bar, and the bags weren’t budging so we were much happier as we skirted Loch Katrine.

It was amazing and we stopped for a bit at a gravesite of the Gregor Clan, which was on a man made peninsula. We rounded the Loch and got hit full force with a head wind and storm clouds moving in. 5 minutes later we stopped to change into rain gear. On cue, we got hammered with some seriously cold rain.

Scots really know how to be dead in style

I promptly steered us in the wrong direction and hammered down a path to nowhere. Caitlin gave the halt command and consulted the map…proving yet again that I am a bit of a meat head when it comes to the bike. I don’t really care where I’m going as long as I am going fast… it resulted in us getting lost very fast multiple times. Props to Caitlin for righting the ship every time. This time was no exception and we were back on track.

We came into the town of Aberfoyle and had some more snacks before we started the tough climbing portion of the route into Drymen. The first pitch was about 12-15% and one of the tougher climbs we have done but it was over pretty quickly. We spent the next 5 miles of rolling terrain discussing whether or not we had done the 2^nd and final climb as it was rolling a bit and trending a bit towards climbing. We rounded a bend and the verdict was in: we most certainly were NOT finished climbing. The road pitched up with no end in sight. Usually that isn’t an issue as it wasn’t insanely steep but a long 10% climb on a loaded down tandem was basically a recipe for blowing our legs to shreds. We breathed very hard and I snotted all over my nice bike jersey for the next couple miles and finally hit the top, which marked the start of a nice long descent into Drymen, our stop for the day. We rolled into town very pleased with ourselves and happy to be done with our final big day on the bike.

Heat and Bexrunner

2011-07-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

I am finally back in California and proper training. I am slowly shedding the added flub from eating a diet of 60% meat, 40% chocolate and feeling pretty sharp on the bike.

As it were, the training is all geared towards the Ironman World Championships in Kona. Obviously, outside of getting fit as hell, heat is the major focus. A lot of people write off hot races by saying "oh, I'm just not good in heat." I was one of them for a very long time, until I came to the realization that that is a cop out. It's a defeatist mentality. Heat is a problem. Generally problems have solutions. So my goal before Kona is to find a solution/ coping mechanism so my brains don't turn into scrambled eggs in the heat.

I became interested in the external cooling method after seeing Torbjorn Sindballe stuff a glove full of ice at each aid station on his way to a 3rd place finish at Kona. He was a huge guy with a history of huge blow ups at Kona but he'd done his homework and maximized his potential in the heat. There was obviously something to that glove.

My first exploration into this conundrum was the Bexrunner. It is basically an ice pack that you strap to your palm. The bexrunner claims to keep your core cooler by increasing the efficiency of your body's cooling mechanism.

It's an interesting little product that I first noticed through Conrad Stoltz, 4x Xterra world champion. He's a large dude and obviously trying to solve the heat issue, so I figured I would see what it was about. Let me start by saying, I am in no way sponsored by bexrunner. I just reached out to them to see if I could test/review their product. The following is my first experience with the gadget.

I took the bexrunner out of the freezer and set out on a long run of an hour and ten minutes with over 2000 vertical feet of climbing. It was a hot day in the canyons of the Santa Monica Mountains. The air is stagnant and there is no cover from the sun. It really heats up and I ran at noon so it was a bit uncomfortable back in there. Running was like someone aiming a blow drier directly in your face.

My immediate reaction to the Bexrunner was very postive. It was a delayed onset of the usual downpour of sweating. I was much more comfortable in the heat, despite being aware of just how hot it was (95 degrees F). My heart rate stayed lower and I was more lucid than I would normally be in those conditions. The added alertness kept me on the lookout for rattlesnakes as they tend to pop out more often on the scorching days. It did not magically make me faster, but I suspect it prevents the slowing down that occurs in heat, especially for us meatier athletes.

The question was: how long would it last? It is billed to last anywhere between 45 minutes and 1 hour. It lasted 42 minutes for me before it melted and warmed up. After it had melted, I felt like I started from square one and that my body hadn't taken on any heat. 42 minutes was long enough to have an effect. That still leaves a lot of time to get hot in Kona, but I can see it being a valuable tool in training and racing.

Any suggestions on heat training or other tools aside from the Bexrunner would be greatly appreciated.

Flapjacks etc

2011-07-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

We woke to a full Scottish breakfast which is really a special thing.

· Porridge with heavy cream and golden syrup

· Thick Bacon (like a combo of our bacon mixed with Canadian bacon)

· Mushrooms (Sautéed in garlic)

· Two stewed tomatoes

· Scrambled Eggs with loads of cream

· Toast

· Strong Coffee

Mushrooms for breakfast sounds a bit odd but it is amazing. I am converted and I think I will be bringing that back with me..

We thought we had an easy day of riding on tap as we were riding 24 miles from Killin to Callander. No rain to start off with but 1 mile in we were in the biggest downpour of the trip on single track with mud splattering everywhere. It was awesome. A mile of dryness was enough to warm us up before the onslaught of cold rain so we were fine. We made our way up a very steep 4-mile climb. It felt like we were going backwards but we finally hit the top.

We were then treated to the most phenomenal road I have ever ridden. This is super dorky but it was like riding through the scene in Harry Potter where they are riding on the Hogwarts Express across a massive arched stone bridge. It was halfway up a mountain overlooking an enormous valley with a river running down the center. A Loch was in the distance with mountains on either side. We were blasting down a dirt road surrounded by mossy stones and lush greenery. It was so green it would have made Hulk jealous. Parts were completely exposed and we could see everything. All I have to say is God is good.

After the best road in the world we hit some hairpin switchbacks…these are tough on roadbikes and hellishly dangerous on a tandem. It was a super technical day, mostly off-road and quite rainy in points. The rain kicked up tons of mud and by the time we rolled into Callander, we looked like two hogs covered in slop. Caitlin was in a good mood and sang ‘tryin to catch me ridin dirty’ for miles which, as you can imagine, was a delight. Also when we would hit bumps or come upon little ramps in the road, she would insist on hitting them at top speed and scream “air, air, air!” Getting a tandem to lift off or catch air is completely reckless so I disregarded her jabbering, which she made quite difficult to do.

Once we arrived in Callander we feasted on steak pies and headed off for ice cream and flapjacks. Flapjacks are basically granola bars with 15 times the butter. They are the most delicious little snacks in the world and I am becoming quite picky about my flapjacks. I hunt for them wherever I go and through experimentation I have found that my flapjacks must meet the following criteria:

· Use margarine over normal butter- margarine provides a chewier and moister consistency and butter’s flavor clashes with the sweetness of the golden syrup

· Golden syrup instead of brown sugar- you American swine wouldn’t understand. You’re probably thinking, “Golden syrup? Is that some special seasonal variant of Aunt Jemimah?? LOL!!!!!” No you idiot and stop laughing out loud. Nothing is funny. Golden syrup is the nectar of Gods and has nothing to do with that brown syrupy bilge water you are trying to pass off as a breakfast staple.

· Rolled oats must be pressed together to achieve super dense status. It better not crumble. My flapjacks MUST be neither dry nor crumbly. If I wanted a bullshit granola bar, I would have got one. Nothing is worse than being duped into thinking you are about to indulge in the world’s tastiest snack only to find yourself with a mouthful of dehydrated bat guano and oats that Quaker calls a snack.

The greatest story ever told about a tandem

2011-07-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

The next day was purportedly our “most arduous day in the saddle”. It was 54 miles with an 8-10 mile climb through a mountain pass where Robert the Bruce fought the English. We also were slated to ride passed the oldest tree in the UK… over 2000 years old. Needless to say, we were pretty pumped to get going. When we woke up, however, it was dumping rain and the winds were raging. Cait had brought a raincoat that would help a bit… Naturally, I wasn’t so bright. It would have been a day to stay inside and play Star Wars monopoly except for the fact that we needed to get to the next town as that’s where we had a hotel booked. There was no time to put a stardock on Tatooine nor to go directly to galactic jail! So the decision was made for us and we headed out the door.

The temp was in the 50’s as we walked out into the downpour. I muttered something along the lines of “we need to ride our asses off for the first 15 minutes to warm up and then it’ll be fine” combined with several other choice obscenities. And hard we rode, desperately trying to prevent the teeth-chattering cold from seeping in too far. It was a chore to keep the rubber side down and to keep the bike from flopping in the wind as it was blasting us on the sides and from the front at random intervals. The rain sheeted into our faces. An hour later, we stopped to grab some hot drinks. Tea and hot chocolate helped some but stopping in a warm store made starting out again much worse. We then headed up the large climb that would last somewhere between 8 and 10 miles. It turned us inside out as both of us were fighting with the behemoth tandem trying to will it up the hill. Those things do not like changes in elevation. Finally the climb ended and we bombed down to Loch Tay.

We rounded the loch thinking we were home free but the terrain turned on us as we were faced with 15 miles of stinging climbs that got up to 13% grades. 13% feels like 30% on a loaded down hybrid tandem and, even in the granny gear, I was burning up my matches all over the place trying to get to our final stop in Killin. Cait and I were absolutely ragged when we rolled into Killin. It quite possibly could have been the hardest day I have ever had in the saddle. Despite this, we actually had quite a good day considering the overall nastiness and discomfort of the conditions and the difficulty of the route. We rode well and stayed in good spirits for 99% of the day. A few climbs demoralized us and took us within calories of bonking but we stuck it out and rolled the tandem over the top. Caitlin provided much needed diesel power as I was running on E towards the end.

Gassed, we changed clothes, showered, and headed to what would be a lunch that will not soon be forgotten. I was dead on my feet and my brain felt like it was a scrambled egg. The lunch was the only thing keeping me out of a coma. We took down the following in one very short sitting: 2 baguettes covered in bacon, cranberry sauce and Brie cheese, salads with balsamic vinaigrette, lentil soup, goat cheese tartlets with caramelized onions, multiple chocolate bars, and couple cappuccinos. Then we headed back to the B&B to try to dry our clothes for the next day… ironic and futile as it was going to piss rain all the next day too.

It was a good day.

We love activities

2011-07-12T01:38:00.001-07:00

The next day we went to paintball. No one was there when we arrived and we had second thoughts about the validity of the touring company we had booked. All unfounded as people showed up and we got introduced and slightly frightened by the activities on tap. Turns out paintball is watered down and not very painful…but it is incredibly fun. It is like a massively enjoyable game of capture-the-flag combined with duck hunt…except the duck is your wife. Well actually I was the duck as Caitlin was a natural and sniped me multiple times as well as lighting into our instructor. She shot him in the head three times and in the neck once…in one game. He was a bit taken a back and I heard him whining to the other instructors and showing them his neck welt.... It was also really funny to see here in shooting gear too.
The next day was canyoning, which is a combination of scrambling, climbing, and cliff jumping all in a river gorge. It was nuts and very good fun. We flopped all over the riverbed and Cait and I were scrambling and jumping off stuff like baby howler monkeys.
Following canyoning, the meat of our tandem riding began with a 40+ mile ride to the middle of the Scottish moors. The town of Rannoch is little more than a train station and a B&B. I am not sure why it exists actually but the B&B has phenomenal scotch and beer and the cycling was, again, some of the best I have done. Caitlin and I are setting that tandem on fire. It is literally like a 60 pound bike the way we have it loaded down. It’s also an upright tandem. Basically it is made to go slow, but we completely disregarded its intention on being a beach cruiser and we have that thing ripping along the lochs at dangerous speeds. I love it and Caitlin is incredible at providing pure diesel power and making my turning job much easier as she mimics my pedaling perfectly. It is tough to handle a tandem if you have a floppy idiot in the back, but Cait has been magic and it feels like I am riding a single person bike which is ridiculous on a tandem which can just as easily feel like handling a school bus with monster truck tires on ice.

Edinburgh

2011-07-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

We stopped in Edinburgh and had learned to book a hotel. It was literally next to the station. We stepped off the train and immediately fell in love with Scotland. We plopped our luggage down and ran back to the streets to wander around. The architecture was incredible. It is exactly as you would imagine, with massive stone buildings that seemingly have been untouched for hundreds of years. Castles and statues are everywhere and our eyes were literally bugging out of our skulls. We stopped in a pub for fish and chips, beer, and steak pie and then headed off to a ghost-tour. It basically took you into the crypts of Edinburgh and told the history of death and other unmentionables throughout the city’s checkered past. We also walked through the cemetery and heard tales of poltergeists. It gave me such a fright that I peed my pants in front of everyone :( .

The next day we were off to a small town called Pitlochery. It makes every euro touristy town in America look like stupid broken down slums. That’s right Holland, Solvang, and Frankenmuth. Step your game up. This place was so picturesque it made me want to vomit with excitement at the charm of it all.

Our bike tour started the next day when we were introduced to our 10-day biking itinerary and had our first 25-mile spin on the tandem. We promptly got lost and turned it into a 50 miler. No worries as it was some of the most brilliant cycling ever with perfect roads and some of the most untouched perfection I have ever seen. I hate to say this but Scotland is a massive stereotype from our experience. I mean that in the best possible way. It is literally like everything could be made into a corny postcard. Everything is lovely and the place is so lush, green, rolling, and quaint you couldn’t possibly comprehend it from one lowly blogger’s ramblings... more to come.

Honeymoon

2011-07-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

Our honeymoon started off with a slightly ridiculous upgrade to first class. The seats were like something from the Jetsons. It was like a space pod. They laid completely flat, came with a free toiletry bag with sleep masks, more food than any body has a right to, and the knowledge that others were suffering in coach. All of the prior provided more joy than anticipated. Two naps, a steak, several deserts, and a full breakfast later we were in London. I had mistakenly booked a hotel literally multiple towns over. Idiot. We wandered around London for what seemed like forever. We discovered that the underbelly of London (where we were staying) and the people were, for lack of a better word, unwelcoming.

Finally we found our hotel and walked in to find a stinkhole in the middle of a run down and slightly seedy part of town. We flopped down, jetlagged, and napped until 8. We then woke up and wandered for food. We headed to the King’s Cross area desperately searching for platform 9 ¾. If you don’t understand the reference, read a G-D harry potter book already. We didn't find the platform as it was suspiciously under construction... I think it was a ploy to keep harry potter zealots away. However, we did find Lucy Abernethy's apartment building somewhat serendipitously. She lived and worked in London for roughly a semester and it was cool to see her old home. We found some Japanese food and it was excellent. The next day we headed back to King’s Cross and hopped a train to Edinburgh, happy to leave the poorly dressed and surly Londoner’s behind.

Forgot what I was talking about

2011-06-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to word vomit until I catch up to the present...

I did some small race in Santa Barbara... I won too!! I swam fast and ran faster. Very good turnover on the run. Happy.

I then went to San Francisco. I went to see Matt Inch and Aaron Scheidies race 'Escape from Alcatraz'. And escape they did... Good race and awesome to watch. I followed them all over the course and relayed messages back to Aaron's agent, Carie. I got in about 25 miles of running in two days which was awesome. I think San Fran is one of the best running cities in the country. If you disagree, maybe you should spend more time running and less time reading blogs and then you would have a valid opinion.

The last few weeks have been a haze of over caffeination and over indulgence in its downer counterpart. I am now starting to level out again thanks to a couple deep sleeps.

Another note is the nastiness that is driving to and from SF was compounded by the fact that our camry is coming apart at the seams. The front exhaust is rusted out so now it sounds like a very impressive muscle car... with four cylinders. The slowest accelerating muscle car in history. It's pathetic. We took it in and are renting a retired cop car (Ford crown victoria). Now I see why cops, old people, and my dad love this beast of a car. It is a V8 sedan!!! It drives up hills like it is mocking the terrain and mother nature. It's so powerful it makes women and small children cry as it passes. It has trunk space to fit 4-6 bodies (no joke) and leg room to boot. Overall this is the best car I have ever seen and the fact that you look like an undercover cop in it means you can speed to your heart's content. Why, it'll be our little secret. I've already been perusing autotrader to upgrade to a cop car...with leather seats, naturally. You should too.

Now is time to gear up for the wedding!

Mexico

2011-06-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

After that luke warm, mushy rice sort of a race, I promptly bounced off to Mexico. It was mainly work related but that is a loose term as I expected it to be packaging stuff book-ended by heavy drinking.

This was indeed the case as I ended up conducting most of the business in a beery haze. How professional. We closed out a bar and ate what must have been nearly half a cow's worth of steak between 3 people. I also took down nearly a whole cheesecake, solo! I felt like I needed a stomach pump. Gluttonous. Anyways, it went well. I used a ton of Spanish which actually came back quite quickly...I don't claim to know really anything, but I can get my point across which is the goal of communication, eh?

Me and Tom (my manager) both got a bit of Montezuma's revenge (the squirts) from some sketchy Mexican food (tacos covered in mysterious brown sauce...foreshadowing??). We have sally American guts that can only deal with sterile baby food and things that have been washed forty times. Pathetic.

Then off to Michigan!!!! By this time, I was falling in love with the airlines all over again!!!!!! So magical. Seriously every one of my flight legs was delayed by at least two hours. I think it would upset the Wright bros to see how their beautiful invention has been perverted by Spirit and Delta.

I promise I will catch you up to real time soon! Listen, bloggers...some of us have lives. Relax and I will get to it.

203,495 people who read this also hate flying Spirit.

Overdue

2011-06-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

Man it has been a crazy last week and a half and it is about to get a bit more nuts. I guess I will start back with the last thing I remember, but I’m sure I’m neglecting some particularly busy bit of nonsense prior to that.

Anyway, last weekend was a great time. Cait and I went down to Orange County for an Olympic distance triathlon with my buddies: Jon, Tony, McCray, and Larry. I was pretty stoked about my fitness going in but made the mistake of playing basketball with Tony on Thursday. I was absolutely wrecked. My ass was blasted and my lower back felt atrophied. I came around the day of the race so I was optimistic. I got in the water and felt pretty strong. I jumped on some feet but couldn’t seem to tap into that top end pain and so got out of the water feeling fresh. I got on the bike and the same thing happened. The course was brutal so I was expecting to hurt but again couldn’t seem to put it into the next gear. It was probably one of the best courses I have ever seen but also a really tough course on both the bike and run. I cruised a nice tempo but my butt was giving me nothing. Turns out my butt is the source of my powers and it just didn’t show up to the party.

My transitions were super clean and I jumped onto the run, still fresh. I got out of the gates really quick for me and the first two miles were both 5:30. The turnover felt awesome and the course was flat and paved. That changed very quickly as we got off the road and onto a soily loose trail. It got hilly and then just started going uphill. The course was unrelenting and I was having difficulty going up and was absolutely hammering the downhills. Usually I climb well on both the run and the bike but I couldn’t get my glutes firing. I was smashing the downhills to make up time and it seemed to be working. I was picking up people all over the place and The finish came up way quicker than I expected. I caught a guy 500 m to the finish and tried to go past on a downhill. He matched me and I thought it was over. I saw a glimpse of a corner and went for it. He let me go and I rounded the corner actually sprinting….that’s how I know I left too much in the tank. If my turnover is still together at the end, that’s no good.

Anyway, I finished and the time turned out good. I placed 7^th overall in a pretty competitive field and I closed the gap to two minutes on a guy I usually lose about five minutes to, which was huge for me. I hate to say it, but I think I left about two minutes on that course which makes me a little sick. All in all, the bright spots were the turnover, the endurance, and the down hill running. A few too many negatives to list, but it still gave an ok result. I need to get back out there. I am really fit and it didn’t really show up.

Larry nailed the race and was 2 minute 50 seconds of me. He smashed the bike course and had one of the faster splits in the field. I have been riding with him a ton and can attest that this guy can shred.

Jon and McCray both had sweet races and finished in the low 2:20’s. Jon has been following Tony’s training plan and is making HUGE gains. Tony had a solid race finishing in 2:10 but had the same issues as me… We both were a little smoked from the bball or something. Incidentally, he whooped my ass at basketball and I whooped his at the tri. He must have taken it deeper during the game of basketball. Either way, he is fit as hell and ready to race Boise 70.3 for another showdown with Larry. Larry’s performance earned him the title “Larry Legend” for life. We stripped Bird of that title and gave it to someone who is a bit more deserving at present. Suck it, Bird.

After the race, Michellie Jones donated some sponsor gear to give away in a raffle. If you don’t know who she is google ‘greatest female triathlete of all time’ and I’m sure she will come up with some hits. Anyway, she was giving away a saddle and a helmet. In order to win you had to answer trivia questions about her career. Triathlon trivia??? Come on. Why don’t you just give me the stuff right now? I tried to snag the saddle but some punk beat me to the punch. I got called on for the helmet and the question was “where did Michellie Jones compete in her first Olympics and what place did she get?” Easy. Sydney. 2^nd. The kicker was she should have been first. Some doping shit head stole the gold from her and they caught her after the Olympics and couldn’t prove anything prior… so the snake still has her medal. I told this to the emcee in so many words. Michellie loved it and flagged me over. I told her she should have got the gold and she gave me a hug. The helmet was sick (Neon pink and just Cait’s size) and Cait needed one as she is just getting into cycling. She just got a new Trek that I picked up with the money from a bike I flipped on Craigslist. Someone offered to buy the helmet off us which was tempting but we declined. It was too perfect to give away. It was a good thing too, after looking online and seeing the 225 dollar price tag! Crazy… especially for a piece of Styrofoam but whatever.

Cait and I then went out for our new Sunday ritual of coffee and glazed donuts. PERFECT weekend.

The next morning at 4, I was off to Mexico…. More to come on that later.

Backstreet's Back, ALRIGHT?!

2011-05-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

That title is meant to be read in a defensive manner with a note of hostility.

I haven't been feeling very "posty" lately. Listen bloggers, I am not going to give you the sunshine up the butt and all that 'it's not you, it's me' garbage. It IS you. But I'm gonna give this whole thing another crack anyway. Don't think this lets you off the hook. You need to take a long look in the mirror.

Recent developments for me include the following EVOTRI uniform!

As baller as a giant man-baby clad totally in spandex can be...

Name on the butt means people take you SUPER CEREAL.

Other really cool news is I went for a couple rides with Terenzo Bozzone (Half ironman world champ for those triathlon illiterates). My buddy Larry met him on a ride and organized one for the following day. Legit rides with HUGE climbing. We did something around 8k over 75 miles or so. We were pushing it too. I was toast. Next ride was a couple days later but almost the exact same format. Climb fast until you get sick of being on your bike. Tons of time spent north of 330 watts.

In addition to Terenzo, James Bowstead and Andrew Lockton (both dope pros in their own right) rode on one of the respective rides so we had a beastly group each time. Also, the owner of Saltstick, Jonathan Toker came along. He's a former pro and climbs like a wisp of smoke. It was a LOADED group.

I am hoping to get more time with these dudes because I want to see what the pro level is all about on a day to day basis.

I have a race this week. Naturally, I have been a complete waste of space for the last couple days. I am feeling great and super sharp. Hopefully a good result is coming.

To Live and Die in L.A.

2011-04-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Bloggers!

How are you? HA! Like I care. This is my time to shine...

I was out on a ride and decided to bring Cait's camera to show you guys how things are in LA. WINNING. Despite putting myself at great personal risk, I have managed to capture images of these famous LA landmarks. I'm sure you'll recognize them. Keep in mind, this was all on one ride!!

View from Charlie Sheen's Bathroom. He pees tiger blood.

View from Willow Smith's Helicopter Landing Pad.

View from Ozzy Ozbourne's Hen House.

View from Dr. Dre's flipped corvette

View from my brain...looking down.

Really it was just a pretty ride in the Santa Monica mountains that I figured I would share.

Sorry to be so surly and rude, Bloggers. I hope you'll keep reading. It was only a joke. Don't be so sensitive.

Crazy train

2011-04-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

I’ve got a few updates for you starting with gear and ending with racing.

Gear:

I have been buying/ selling gear like mad lately. The last effort was selling off a crankset. I popped it on craigslist and had a couple bites. I ended up arranging a meeting with a guy as I was on the way to a race this weekend. I kind of hate craigslist as it seems sort of like a meeting place for the filthy underbelly of society. Sort of if you took the ethics and rules out of ebay. But…unlike ebay, they don’t take a cut of sales. I am sick of paying out to ebay. Anyway, it felt like a drug deal as I rolled up into a parking structure and the guy opened his trunk up. He examined the crank and got out 600 dollars in cash. Before he handed it to me, he started talking about testosterone therapy…. WHOA… pump the brakes! I said, “you mean doping?” Long pause…then he said, “uhhh yeah.” He opened a cooler in his trunk and showed me a bunch of IV bags and crap. I asked if he was doing it for pros or what. He said yeah we do semi pros, pros, and a lot of 40+ guys trying to recapture their youth. I was visibly disgusted as he quickly put it away saying, “ oh you’re too young, you can get the benefit with a good diet.” I didn’t say anything, took his money and left.

Wow. That was my first real exposure to PEDs and I was grossed out. Depressing and jading to think this is going on.

Racing:

Anyway, 600 dollars richer, Cait and I continued on, driving to the race. It was a 5k run/ 11 mile bike/150 yard swim reverse tri. Weird small race with tons (relatively) of money on the line. 2k for first, 700 for second, and 300 for third. Usually I like to race a strong field, but I’m not gonna lie, I was hoping for a field full of cream puffs. No luck. About 7 legit guys showed up and I knew I was in for it. The gun went off and I went out super hard. I hit the halfway point at about a 16:40 5k pace. I was hurting and still well behind the leader! I tried to settle down and get some good turnover. I faded but managed to finish the 5k in 17:10 which was fast for me but still 2 min behind the leader... ridiculous. I hopped onto the bike in 9th place after a sloppy t1 in which I lost two places. I desperately tried to reel people in as the 150 yard swim was basically a formality. I was dead on the pedals but still moving well on the hilly, 3-loop course. I picked off 3 people but the top guys just worked me over and a couple put a little time into me on the bike. 6th overall, but out of the money. I was happy with the effort and the run time but dang...People are fast. 6 guys were under 17 on the 5k with the leader going 15:10-ish on a rolling course! Insane.

Food mistakes

2011-04-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

So my recent food habits have me feeling like Usher...so these are my confessions. (imagine a velvety smooth baseline)

Listen to Usher "confessions pt II" before you read this if you can't imagine the tune.

Watch this...
Just when I thought I could say all I could say, I go and eat 10 pieces of french toast in one single day/these are my confessions/man I'm lost and I don't know what to do so I gotta give you part two of my confessions/
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all/ damn near cried when I ate that pound of bacon/ man I'm lost and I don't know what to do but to give you part three of my confessions/
This gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do/ at night dreaming and talking to myself "just eat you know you to"/ I think I told you that last midnight I was creeping in creeping in/ the fridge and everything you know I'm eating it/
First thing that came to mind was sweets/ second thing was I probably need something salty to eat/ Third thing was me wishing that I never did what I did/ feeling horrible shame/ and only with myself to blame.

I feel better. Thanks for listening, bloggers...I could only do that in song. The wounds are still too raw just like the bacon was.

I've eaten about a tub of butter in 2 days, 2 packs of bacon, 1.5 loaves of bread, a container of maple syrup and honey. I have a problem...That's the first step.

Racing

2011-04-01T22:27:00.000-07:00

This video to me is absolutely NASTY. I sort of hate this nonsense about how this race is like life and the deepness of it all. What a romantic notion...but to me it's gritty. I tend to look at it like this: that girl let her guts and adrenaline take over when she could have just called it a day and that is what gets me about racing. She refused to listen to that little voice that says, "no, I can't" or "well I guess it's over" or "maybe next year". She knew there are no second chances. There are just discreet moments.

The best thing about this is that she actually won. Even if she hadn't, she raced and didn't just run.

My sister was there to see that race first hand. She races the same way. Damn, I love that. Not many people do, even at the pointy end of the field. I love to see that fight. It's good to watch hard ass racers.

Race in SD

2011-03-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

First time in San Diego was great. Spent mass time hanging with Cait. We went for Sushi, pancakes, took some naps, went to a brewery, biked and ran, and wandered around down town. I wasn't feeling super sharp for the race the night before but the nap brought me around and suddenly I was feeling magic.

Race morning started out shockingly relaxed but quickly turned into typical race morning as I discovered I had miraculously lost my aero helmet...seriously unreal as I had it on my head the day before. Who knows what happened to it? Shit man, I need to get it together. I sent Cait frantically back to the hotel (she is the best) and I scrambled around trying to find a spare. I rounded up a fisher price looking helmet, which was a major win all things considered, then headed to the swim start.

I was in the second wave which I had mixed feelings about. 1. I was getting time splits to the leaders constantly which was good. 2. I couldn't react to surges in the race which was bad. 3. Not having a swim pack was not ideal and my swim time showed it compared to the 1st wave

The swim was excellent. I got dropped in the first 200 but quickly diced through 8 of the people who thought it was a 200 free instead of a triathlon. Seems like it was easy to confuse despite no pool and a wetsuit...DUMB DUMB DUMB. Anyway, the stroke felt very good and I held a high tempo into t1. Transition was a bit sloppy but not shameful and relatively good. Not sure what others are doing in transition but I will take free time if you give it to me. If you want to put on makeup and file your nails before heading out on the bike, be my guest.

The bike felt pretty rotten as I have had major tracking issues with my knee since switching to speedplays. It seems to have set off a stick of dynamite in my pedal stroke and suddenly I am herky jerky all over the road even with my new looks. I wasn't very smooth but the watts were alright and I averaged 335 with 6 dead stops. Still managed to go 59 and change. Michey Weiss held 377 so I have a ways to go but I think I can get there.

I transitioned onto the run and felt good. I was smooth but a bit sluggish until mile 3 when a guy picked me up. He gapped me but I hung on about 5 seconds back. I clawed my way back to within a second. Then he heard my breathing and surged. Rinse. Repeat 3 times. I had one more penny to spend and came back on his shoulder and tried to make a pass...I didn't have much so it wasn't all that definitive. He responded and rounded a corner. I thought I was dead until I saw a small downhill. I blasted down it and was on his shoulder again. I was running on fumes at that point and he easily coasted away as I waddled in. Second time in as many races that I have come up short with 300 yards to go. I fought like hell to make this one close though. I hit the line completely totaled and yacked four times. Satisfying effort.

Overall, athletically the race was spot on and right where I needed to be. 7th overall of ~815 racers is hard to complain about, but I was hoping my race would end up being more competitive with the top guys. It still left me a couple minutes shy of the podium and out of the money. I am knocking on the door but still not there. Competitive races are awesome but sometimes I just want to cherry-pick one and blow apart the field... Guess I just need to get faster.

Solvang Spring Fling Wrap Up

2011-03-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Overall review:

The camp was tough and we piled on big bike mileage. Lots of it was quite intense too and my bike muscles still are gassed. My total hours for the week were 27.5 which was by far my biggest week. The repercussions of doing such a big volume jump with so much intensity weren’t as severe as I thought but still messed with my sleep. I had a couple nights where the sound of my heart kept me awake. My dreams have been super messed up too…I don’t want to go into it but weird is an understatement.

The people at the camp were phenomenal. Lots of laughs and lots of time spent geeking out on triathlon in general.

The coaches were sensational but they took a sick pleasure in decimating me every day. They also really helped with my swim stroke which was a total surprise. Especially because the coach who helped me, Ryan Ignatz, is a snail in the water. Quote me on it. He thinks he could stick on my feet but he would be a distant memory…turns out he actually really knows swimming. People can tell you “fix this and fix that” but actually being able to make a real change is something not many coaches can do. I was blown away and it already feels like I am grabbing tons of water I was missing. Thanks Ryan.

Charlie, the camp organizer was absolutely the best. I couldn’t believe how well the camp ran and how fluidly she operated the minutiae.

The recuperation from the camp has involved tons of bagel eating. I have been blasting through french toast at a rate that would hurt Ihop's feelings. It seems I haven’t stopped eating since I got back. I’m finally getting some freshness back in my legs.

I have a race this wknd and I am interested to see how I go. I am hoping for a major fitness bump from the camp and I need it since there is a bit of prize money on the line. I checked the start list and I know some of the guys… I think it’s safe to say a couple podium spots are locked up already. Michael Weiss is going to smash everyone. That guy is so lethal across the board it is insane. He’s an Ironman winner, world champ mountain biker, and xterra winner. If I can be in the same area code, I could make a bit of money. We’ll see if the body shows up to the party.

Bob, a hard-nosed Alaskan I met at camp, is going to do the race too and made me promise to buy him a beer if I finish in the money so the pressure is on.

Also...random bit of good news: I fixed my cleat position on my bike shoes today. I went from knee pain and weak tea cup baby power to making my pedals quake with anguish and tremble with fear. I jammed the cleats back and suddenly my ass and thunder quads are firing like NPR right now. Little baby Mikey Weiss should take notice. Death and Pain are coming to San Diego.

Solvang spring fling day 6

2011-03-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

No biking today which is a major relief. I haven't stacked up that much bike training ever (roughly 18 hrs on the bike in 5 days) and it was interesting to see how much one can actually handle on the bike day in and day out.

Today was a bit foggy and overcast...Perfect day for a run and that was on the schedule. We started out on the long run and my legs were obviously sore but loosened up pretty quickly and I cruised the first 4 miles pretty well...I started to feel the deep fatigue up some of the hills and backed off the pace a bit just to relax. I hit my turn around and started back home. A few slight down hills helped me find a bit of a rhythm and I found myself rolling and building into a fast pace comfortably. I finished the run off with a sub 6 minute mile and felt very good.

A coffee, a pack of gummy bears, and a pesto turkey sandwich went down like dominoes after the run.

Onto a light swim... Well when I say light, I mean it would have been light if I hadn't be shattered like a cheap dinner plate. We did some aerobic stuff with enough rest to catch a quick nap and it still wasn't easy enough. I worked on my form and found a little gadget that really helped me catch and anchor my arm in the water. I am going to have to pick one of these little devices up...more to come on that later I think.

Tonight is wine, cheese, dinner, and scotch.

Solvang spring fling day 5

2011-03-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

Today was completely mind blowing. Apparently the weather is supposed to be rotten tomorrow so we flipped the long run to tomorrow and the long ride to today. I wasn't pleased as my legs were begging for a day off the bike.

I started pedaling and I had absolutely no access to my top end and had whooping cough from the race the day before. Not the greatest start but my legs actually got progressively better throughout the day.

About 30 minutes into the ride, I stopped caring about how my legs felt. The route we were on was absolutely the best cycling I have ever done. Perfect roads, amazing views, no traffic, steady climbs...you name it. It was absolutely perfect rhythm riding which is my favorite type.

I got into a groove and my legs started to really feel excellent. We pushed the pace, threw some attacks, and let the down hills rip. The 5 hr ride was done before I knew it and I have just found my favorite cycling route on earth.

Just to document it so I don't forget the route, it headed out from Solvang to Los Olivos then onto Foxen Canyon then right on Tepesquet up a climb and down into a valley and finally out to Highway 166. It ended up being roughly 90 miles.

Spring Fling Day 4

2011-03-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today was a massive effort. We raced up Mt. Figueroa. It is a 9.5 mile climb that averages 9%...this 9% is very deceptive as the first mile hits 22% and there are some down hills so it sticks around 10-12% a lot.

I was pitted against the camp coach who is a beast. He is a pro road rider from boulder and former pro triathlete. I was pretty nervous as sub 1 hour efforts on the bike are just nasty painful and I had never red lined a climb like that before. I knew I was climbing well but this is a completely different animal.

I took off and hit the first grade and was on the rivet immediately... 1k in and I was already ragged. I was passing tons of people and climbing well. Reality hit about 5k in and I knew I had spent all my pennies. Now it was about mitigating pain and time losses. I was cramping in the back of my hamstrings which has never happened and my back felt absolutely shattered. The camp coach ripped by me at 10k and I couldn't respond.

I was in a bad way when I finally got to the top. I threw up a few bits of bile and tossed in a couple thorough dry heaves for good measure. I laid there annihilated for about 15 minutes before I could eat or drink.

After I rejoined the land of the living, we descended 1/3 of the way down to a running trail for a brick...totally sadistic. I trotted off with my legs feeling like mud pie. I got to the turn around point and was joined by the camp coach, Jared. He apparently wanted to put the screws to me today and we hammered the second half of the run... I was happy for that to be over.

THEN...we rode back. Instead of riding easy, we had a tailwind and set up a paceline. We were absolutely flying.

Now my legs are beyond gone. I need food. I need a shower. I need sleep.

Solvang Spring Fling Day 3

2011-03-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

Thank God for easy days...I crawled into bed last night completely smoked. I just laid there...My heart was thumping loud enough to keep me awake. That is a major sign for me...if you push through that sign good things literally NEVER happen. It took me a while to figure out that your heart shouldn't really ever beat hard while you are laying around like a lump...unless you're watching an awesome emotional hugh grant movie or something that makes you really mad I was a bit sun burned and also warm from running the engine hard all day. I woke up still slightly toasted but much better. We had an early run at the track...sounds scary but was very easy. We did some drills and cruised a few very comfortable. I actually came back feeling a lot better.

Next up was a 2 hr spin to loosen up the legs. I was testing out my new pedals and was happy to be rid of those filthy speedplays. I was pain free the whole day. No hot spots on the foot and no weird knee tension. I will ride looks til I die.

Back to the ride... I never really do recovery rides. I usually swim to recover. I just ride steady or I don't ride. It was weird to spin so lightly but kind of nice. I still would have preferred to watch tv as that doesn't hurt my butt as much but I kept that to myself.

The highlight of the ride was stopping for sandwiches...also eating my gummies.

I finished all that with a nap...maybe the most necessary nap ever in my life.

I just looked at the total for the camp so far and I have 14.5 hrs of training done in 3 days...crazy.

Solvang spring fling day 2

2011-03-15T21:11:00.001-07:00

Wow... turns out being tired is going to be the theme of this week. I basically ended up face down, snoring in a bowl of pasta today. I had a cup of coffee that may have made me more tired. It was hard to tell...

We were up this morning @ 6:20 and straight to the pool for some reasonably light swimming. Then breakfast and onto a long ride. It was supposed to be sort of long and slow...I hate that. Needless to say I got a paceline going right off the bat and 45 minutes into the ride had shelled all but a couple. The climb hit and I spat the remainder off the back and got to enjoy one of the most beautiful rides I have ever done in perfect silence. It was awesome. I couldn't do justice to the landscape. You just have to be there. When people say "greener pastures" this is exactly what you picture...but watered way down because your imagination isn't powerful enough for this.

I got down to the beach where I was greeted by a small beach store that served ridiculously good burgers. I indulged. This combined with v8 (usually nasty but the salt content was spot on today) made the ride home much better. I headed back and was smashing it. But thanks to my speedplay pedals, my knees and feet were feeling like charlie sheen's liver. I hate speedplays. Never buy them. They are the worst thing to happen to bikes, knees, and feet in all of human history. I was motivated to finish the ride because I planned to buy different pedals immediately. I stopped off at the bike shop, got some new all white Look pedals and rode off pain free...I did all this before anyone caught me. WINNING.

Some Gummy worms, sandwiches, ice cream, pasta, bread, chips, coffee, carrot juice, chicken, and chocolate later and here I am. Still tired. Still hungry.

Solvang spring fling day 1

2011-03-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

The first day of camp started out with a bang... 4.5 hr ride with some solid climbing through some of the country's greatest landscape. Legendary ride with some massively difficult climbs. I was feeling very solid throughout and was blasting through the hills.

We headed to a coffee shop after for some shakes. Afternoon delight...don't take that the wrong way. It was just a shake you pervert.

Run after that was almost immediate. We cruised the first loop then the majority of the group peeled off and I was left with a 90 lb running animal man named Chris. Chris has been known to run 1:05 half marathons... for those of you less running inclined, that shit is lightning. Anyways, he blasted me into oblivion. I was doing ok for a big-boned, sausage-legged rockstar but he was like a little billy goat and climbed like a whisp of smoke. I ate about 10 lbs of food after.

Good day.

In other news, I am interviewing to become Charlie Sheen's Social Media secretary. This is 100% true. I passed the first round of interviews and am now on to the second round...wish me luck, trolls. HA. luck is some heinous AA term made up by a bunch of droopy-eyed, armless, loser children. I don't need it. I have tiger blood and resentment to fuel me...luck has nothing to do with it. Peace out girl scouts.

First race of the season

2011-03-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

The first race of the season is sort of like the first time you played pokemon. Jarring, upsetting, interesting, fast paced and seizure inducing. Thankfully it didn't prove to be seizure inducing.

Cait and I drove to Indio and set up shop. We went out for some thai food. Turns out red curry is not ideal "stomach settling" food. After that we gorged on cookies and gummy bears. As my pancreas was shocked into submission, I noticed that my tire was flat...I pumped it up to discover a leak. Total panic at the disco ensued!

Cait and I rushed to walgreens to get super glue. FAIL. Too runny. We rushed to wal MART and got bike patch kits and some more adhesives. Panic mode was awful but I finally got it to the point where the leak was super slow...

Race morning came and I was feeling good. I started quickly but in the completely wrong direction. Annoying. I jumped back to the main group and swam strong to come out in 7th or so. 40 seconds back of Inch and a minute and change up on kling.

I got on the bike quick and was super nervous that the third world fix would hold... I hit the back brake on the first hill and the junk on the tire ripped completely off and got lodged in my back brake. It rubbed bad and was making horrid noises... I ignored it and pushed to catch inch 15 minutes in. The rubbing continued for the next 18 miles. I was pushing great watts and averaged 340 for the whole thing. The speed was shit though until the junk dislodged from my brake. The speed then jumped and I shot away from the group....I also ditched inch when the stuff came loose.

I had an immaculate transition onto the run and hit the gas. 1st mile was 5:20 and it hurt. I was running in 4th overall. Inch was a ways back and I figured if I could keep the pressure on I could keep clear.

I came around the first three miles quick. I stayed moving ok but got run through by a couple pros. Ended in 6th overall and 1st amateur. I am closing the gap on some of the top guys in the area. Although this is the key stat: I beat inch and kling. Scoreboard was just like ironman florida.

Good weekend. Next race is at the end of March. Triathlon camp next week!

Magestic Hogs

2011-03-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

One of my fondest memories is seeing potbelly pig racing at the state fair with my grandparents and sister. These races are so baller it is unreal. I would watch them every other day if time permitted. Pigs are hyper competitive beasts who don't take shit from anyone except each other. Pot belly pigs are the most deadly fast pig in all of pigdom. I've always admired them and their 'from the gun' mentality in racing. Even if they get lost on a circle track, they are heroes in my book. I'll get back to this later.

Into T1

I'm starting to come around from the early easy week feeling. The first part of every 'down' week feels like I am shutting down completely. My body is really warm and my legs feel like ham. I generally feel like I have no business exercising. It takes between 3-5 days to come out of that and then the snap returns to the legs and the heart and lungs almost feel excited to be used. My heart actually sometimes skips a beat during these couple days...super weird.

My legs feel lethal right now. I swam today and thought I needed a flop day as opposed to Jill's race pace workout. I got in the water and felt balanced and smooth. My pull felt strong and my legs actually felt good kicking (1st time in 2 years that I have actually kicked while swimming). The mini set was 2x100 on 1:30. I was told to take it out fairly strong. Goal was 1:10-1:12. I hit 1:09 and then 1:07 and felt cruisey. Then 6x100 on 1:30 where I was supposed to settle into 1:15 pace. I hit 1:09 for each of these easily. CRAZY. Again, 2 years since I could swim like this.

Back to that earlier pig nonsense, I just saw this quote and it was right up my alley.

You can't make a racehorse out of a pig. But if you work hard enough at it you can make a mighty fast pig. - Bob Akin

Lean Bacon (pig #2) slaying them around the first turn

I think I am turning myself into one lethal piggy.

RACE THIS WEEKEND! Inch, Kling, Iris, and Mariah coming for their spring break too!

Hopefully sweet porcine victory will be mine

Passed Gassed

2011-02-26T18:02:00.000-08:00

I am beyond tired right now... Just to put it into context, it has been a monumental chore for me to get into a hot tub, type things, fill a water bottle, and eat chocolate. Usually these things are AUTOMATIC BABY!

If you were a betting man, would you ever bet against Dicky V?

The day started off with masters swimming which I have avoided due to the early nature of these workouts. It walks that fine line of exercise being fun and exercise being productive when you have to get up around 6 am to do it. However, the swim sets are always awesome thanks to the LEGEND, Jill Savege.

WARNING: Workout details below! This part will bore you if you aren't geeked up on tri crap...

Warm up
6x150 pull w/ paddles
3x100 on 1:30, 3x100 on 1:25, 3x100 on 1:20
2x100 on 1:30, 2x100 on 1:25, 2x100 on 1:20
1x100 on 1:30, 1x100 on 1:25, 1x100 on 1:20
100 ez
3x200 IM
cool down

It was sick and I BLASTED the 100's... super cruisey and fast enough to get massive amounts of rest even on the 1:20's. 3 weeks ago, I would have been pressed to make 1:20 intervals.

Double shot at starbucks and immediately off to a bike with Jason, Matt, and Tony. They had a 40k TT to do and I had 20k of over under intervals. My set was 3x (5min @ 360watts, 5min @300 watts). My powermeter had no batteries so I just kind of winged it...I ended up averaging 26.4 mph on a super windy day and without pinning it too bad. Again pretty comfortable and the speed was just there. I followed Tony around for the rest of his TT and then cooled down with them. 2hrs and 10 min on the bike. The boys smashed it. Jason and Matt hit 1:08-1:09 territory and Tony hit 1:04. Good early season stuff.

On to the next one... I immediately hopped off the bici and had a 5 min build to race pace followed by 15 min easy... I pushed a bit too hard I guess and ran the 5 minutes @ 5:24 min/mile pace! The effort didn't feel out of control but who knows. It's easy to feel good for 5 minutes.

I got home and fell onto the bed. It was noon. Just looking at all the crap I did before noon makes me tired. That is too productive for a Saturday morning in this blogger's humble opinion.

I'm only a man in silly red sheets but even Heroes have the right to dream!!!!!

Close to the Chest

2011-02-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

I am coming to the end of a particularly tough week of training. I had a major interval session on the track for the first time this year. 3x1000,3x800,3x400,200 was the set. The times are proprietary. Let's just say I haven't hit these times in 3 years.

It beat up my legs as they still are a bit soft when it comes to speed. They are starting to harden up though. My top end is there aerobically as the effort was very smooth compared with the times but the muscles are still adjusting. I used to have to turn myself inside out to run like this.

The next day was a swim set where I had to blast out some sprints. Again... I don't know if I have gone that quick in 3 years if ever.

I am really shocked by my top end right now...

The race is right around the corner and the only hard workout standing in my way is a bike set. That's my wheel house. The set is 3x 5 min @ 360 watts, 5 min @ 300 watts. Basically an over under race pace set for 30 min continuous. The runs and swims always make me a bit nervous. The bikes don't bug me. I am barking right now. Down week to let the legs come around and then the first exam of the year! Desert Triathlon in Palm Springs.

Beasting off the Riesling

2011-02-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

Very good week of training... lots of it was highly secretive so I can only give you tidbits.

1. I had a pretty hard interval run. I ran VERY fast for me. This isn't saying much in the grand scheme of things but everything is relative and getting my giant sausage legs moving fast is not super easy. You wouldn't understand, chicken-legged bloggers.

2. I had a long bike ride in which I shattered some people (myself included) pretty effectively. We were pushing ridiculous watts during my interval set of 3x5 minutes. We're talking around 450-530 big gear. Stuff that makes knee joints and babies tremble and tiny tea cup gears go completely unused.

3. I had a long progression run. Caitlin contributed by coming along on her bike with water and lecturing me on her financial plans and some clever money making plots. I am starting to realize that she has a keen eye for socking away cash. Also, I am starting to use my racing flats for parts of these runs to build up my durability and force my muscles to take more of the load. Sort of a barefoot running concept but less pathetic and less chic. I again ran the final part of this much faster than I thought with much less effort.

4. I had two solid swims: one sprint set and one strength set. Both were faster than anything last year.

People of SoCal. Gather your children. Run to the hills. John Paul Severin is coming to your small local triathlons and Death rides with him.

He is a simple man. He takes in lots of butter and gummy bears and outputs death and pain. You've be warned.

Move over Kenny Jennings

2011-02-18T10:49:00.001-08:00

Guess who was the brains behind Watson and took down the feeble Jennings. Shamed him really. All in the name of charity. You really thought a computer could have that much game? Please. Search your heart. You know it was me.

The last week for me has been excellent. The highlights were two killer nights of trivia. Me and Cait hit the SoCal trivia circuit and we hit it hard this week.

I don't know why but trivia elicits a reaction from me that is unmatched by anything in life. Sad? Probably, but it's just the facts. Anyway, I really internalize all my trivia successes and failures. For example, I will never forget missing the question:

Q: Who is the bond villian who throws his hat? A: Odd Job

I should have been all over this question like mud on a pig. He was my character in N64 007. It was on the tip of my tongue and I just let it slip away like a choke artist. Same goes for this one...

Q: What is the NYSE symbol for anheiser busch A: BUD

DAMMIT! So simple. I had it written down. In the investment bank, so to speak. HA! But I second guessed myself and put ANB. IDIOT.

But I also have some huge successes. For example:

Q: Who was the biblical figure who killed a lion with his bare hands and decimated an entire army with the jawbone of an ox? A: Sampson

BALLIN. I agonized over this. Two possibilities. Two biblical figures who possess this massive destructive prowess. Sampson and Goliath. I had heard of these feats before but it was in the deep, cobwebby recesses of my brain. Hard to access, especially in a seizure-addled brain(for those of you who don't know me this is a serious comment) such as mine. I dug deep though and pulled it out. Sweet victory that I will remember for at least one month which is an eternity for me.

Another example.

Q: You receive the clarett jug for winning what event? A: British Open

Holy God. I was so far away from knowing this answer... I started out with home run derby as my best guess. Thankfully, I recognized that it was absolute shit. I went back to the drawing board and ran through all the possible sports that you could maybe win a jug in... Football, hockey, golf? GOLF...for some reason that struck me...So it is golf and it has to be an old event. Who gives jugs anymore?

Golf was invented in Scotland. Any Scottish tournaments? No? Ok, well the UK then. Only thing I've got is british open. Ok we'll go with it. The moment they read the answer and I knew I got it... It was like sunshine filling my body. If you have never felt what it is like to completely pull a hard trivia answer out of your @$, I suggest you find a local trivia tourney and give it a whirl. Words don't do it justice.

You should brush up on your trivia, bloggers. Who knows when you'll face me in trivial pursuit? Trivia is my wheel house and I don't hold back. It is a full on onslaught from the first question. If you don't step your game up, you might get embarrassed.

Oh and the workouts have been stellar this week. Very fast running, very solid biking, very strong and fast swimming. My fitness is nuts right now.

Big Day

2011-02-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

I have been slowly adjusting my circadian rhythm to be able to work out in the morning. Today was a testament to my GREAT SUCCESS.

Up at 6:30, massive coffee awaited and did not disappoint. I rolled over to the pool for a masters workout. The idea was to hit up a long hard swim with my coach, Jill Savege dishing out the set. We ended up with about 4800-5k or so and I finished pretty well. I felt well balanced and decent in the water.

Next up was a longish ride with the boys. We met near the pool and took off. It was a strong group. Tony, Trey, McCray, Josh, Matt, and Jason. They can all throw down. But more than that, they are just a kick ass group. I set the route and we headed off into the Santa Monica's. Golden light was everywhere. It is stupid how beautiful this place is. The route was pretty hilly and the hills were all stingers. They don't kill you individually but each one stings your legs and by the end you are toast.

My legs had some punch and I felt good on the ups and my pedal stroke felt smooth. We ended with a hard 5 mile effort. Trey was on my wheel and we emptied the tank properly. Lethal ride.

Next up from Jill: Get the run in fighting shape

S-as in super bowl sucks E-V as in Victory E-R-I-N

2011-02-06T21:02:00.001-08:00

This weekend was underlined by horribly early mornings, highlighted by awesome racing, and punctuated with drinking and boring sports.

I'll start with the bad news... The super bowl sucks. Somehow I have gotten to the point where I hate watching sports to the point that I am just looking at the scoreboard to see how much time is left...it's a burn out the clock situation. I don't even do that at work. Me and Cait went to a Superbowl party and I was more interested in chatting with Cait and 'the girls' than watching the game. Even the commercials sucked. What happened to me?

The mornings were early due to the new regime. Under the rule of Jill Savege, mornings will be early and workouts will be difficult. That just sounds right... something about the name Jill Savege I guess. Really Jill is great. She is super calm, positive, and really helpful. We had scheduled a hard morning swim on Saturday that had me up at 6:30 and a TT race on Sunday that had me up at 6:40. Both brutal for me...

Here are the details:

Swim- 4600 or so with the main set being pretty tough

400, 8x 100 on 1:25, 400, 6x 100 on 1:20, 400, 4x 100 on 1:20

Sadly that is the longest and hardest swim I have done in about two years

Bike TT- 20k race north of LA

The wind was brutal (15-20mph) but I was feeling pretty good after a warm up. I saw Jordan Rapp, Jill's husband, warming up. He won Ironman Canada and Arizona and is a beast in general. It was a small race but there was some serious talent. I was super nervous because a 20k is a gut wrenching effort and that kind of discomfort is difficult to deal with. You'd be stupid not be nervous for a 20k. It would be like not being nervous the first time you were interviewed by Oprah. Or not being nervous if Oprah was trying to attack you with a brand.

Anyway, I got to the line and the countdown started. When he hit five, my heart rate was already sky rocketing. I jumped off the line and was sailing with a 20 mph storm at my back. I was hitting 35-43 mph and almost nervous going around corners. I was pushing solid watts and had directions to start conservatively. I hit the halfway with an average of 335 watts and something like 34 mph average...just nuts. The effort was comfortable though and I was ready for the wind in the face section which I knew was going to be ugly.

The wind hit me in the face and the effort went through the roof. My speed dropped by about 15 mph. I kept thinking, just gun it and it will be over faster. Get under thirty minutes and no one can laugh at that time. I thought I was fast but basically just didn't want to embarrass myself. Before the start I was thinking that 33 minutes would be a realistic time. Under 30 would be nuts, I kept thinking but I kept glancing at the clock and it looked possible.

I was spitting, huffing, and nearly throwing up, but I was reeling people in all over the place. Honestly I haven't breathed that ragged...maybe ever. I saw the trees that were near the finish and went all in. I hit the line and felt totally decimated.

The second half I ended up averaging 375 watts!

Total time: 29:52 which was good enough for 4th place overall! I went toe to toe with some BIG guns and was right there and even beat some pros!

average watts: 355

I couldn't believe the result really.

I might be more proud of this race than any I can think of in recent memory...

Fat? NO. Powerful.

2011-02-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

Pure power, baby!

Alright so I have been doing a bit of thinking about the past year. It was by far my best year for a lot of reasons. I also had an excellent year 3 years ago. However after a couple awesome races that year, I trashed myself and put myself deep into the bucket which lead to a 3 year road back to where I am now. I have changed a lot as an athlete. I got smarter and trained differently. I am also WAY bigger. Not sure exactly why but I can’t seem to stop growing up and out. I think this Seinfeld scene sums it up pretty well…

Elaine is trying to set her friend up with George….

Cynthia: What does he look like?

Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short.
Um, he's stocky.

Cynthia: Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?

Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up
over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind
of, just kind of….. losing his hair.

Cynthia: He's bald?

Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.

Cynthia: So he will be bald.

Elaine: Yup.

I would say I am a way more powerful athlete now than I was. Maybe just fatter but I have numbers to back it up too. Ballpark power increase of 20-25% with a weight increase of only ~10%. I am still running the same which really annoys me but I’m biking lots faster with less effort. I want to be a gazelle but I am more of an elephant or a plow horse and that may just be the nature of the beast. The power has been great and despite the mass, at least I’m not bald…yet.

Haters gonna hate

2011-02-01T13:26:00.000-08:00

Just had my first interval session on the run today. I was a bit nervous for it but super excited. I made the mistake of drinking about 4 shots of espresso prior to the run which turned my stomach a bit. I then promptly stepped in dog $#!+ on the warm up. I turned the shoe over thinking it was mud and scraped a bit off with my finger, only to find out it was indeed dog shit. Super nasty. I am kind of thinking about booting just writing it... If I knew the dog that wronged me, I would punt it off a cliff.

Anyway, the workout was 3x5 min @ 10k pace. I ran it a touch harder than that but came in @ 5:32 min/mile pace for the 1st, then 5:42 pace on the next much hillier route, then finally 5:30 pace for the last one. Legit. Not smoking but definitely good for a big rumbler like me.

I also found out I was a USAT All American this past year with a 98.5 rating. Theoretically the fastest amateur in the country scores a 100 so this was Huge! Especially in the 25-29 age group which is lots more competitive than 18-24. I'm on the scene baby. Definitely my best year ever!

2010 races:

6th overall at the olympic distance southwest region championship
5th overall at American Triple T ohio
2nd overall at Rev 3 cedar point half
9:24 at Ironman Florida and qualified for Kona

Hills and Bracelets.

2011-01-23T14:50:00.000-08:00

Alright so, I balled out of control today. Hill repeats and I was getting some major flight and moving pretty good for a giant beast.

In other news, I just got suckered by the EFX bracelet scam. Perhaps you have heard of it. If you have, you are no doubt ROFL at me. Understood.

A guy showed me the bracelet and we did a stretch test. I got 2-3 more inches of stretch and actually touched the ground! I have never touched the ground! I really mean never. Not sure why or how... but it was repeatable and continues to work. It didn't work with other 'fake' bands either...

We tried it out on a variety of other balance related tests and it is a complete bogus thing and doesn't remotely help...but the fact remains that I can touch my toes with it and I can't without it. How the hell could this be? It doesn't make sense. My placebo loving brain is screwing with me as we speak. How could it be a placebo for one thing but completely bungus for another?

Apparently this braniac got suckered too... I felt so much worse after seeing this picture. You can officially lump me into a group with Lefty. We are lemmings together.

Off to the pool. Naturally I am probably going to drink some chlorinated kool-aid.

Slaying it on PCH

2011-01-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

I have been using my full race setup lately as I haven't gotten around to replacing the tubes in my flat training tires. Lazy. The zipp 808 powertap combined with the joule powermeter keep training fast and interesting. I am starting to really love seeing all my numbers instantly. Especially when the numbers are big.

Today I did a 2.5 hr ride. The first 2 were moderate-hard. Here are the numbers from the 2 hr segment:

Average HR: 153 bpm

Average Cadence: 77

Average Power: 306 watts

Average Speed: 24 mph

Super windy so I am stoked with the speed. The wind got me through 40k in something stupid like 56 min only averaging 295 watts. I was like a sail. Then the wind turned on me and it was super slow but still the power was there.

I am moving pretty good right now on the bike.

Intervals?

2011-01-20T12:49:00.001-08:00

I haven't really done proper intervals on the bike in a couple years. I am starting into them and *shocker* they are incredibly uncomfortable. I just did 10 x 2 minutes at 405-415 watts and it absolutely turned me inside out. I felt like my intenstine was going to come out my nose. I was snarling and spitting aggressively (but in a playful manner) sort of like Animal from the muppets.

Either way the watts were balling and I didn't fade terribly. Roughly 10-15 watt drop on the last 3 intervals. The wind was stupid too. 22 mph with gusts at 30 mph. That is a lot to handle when going downhill at 35+ mph. My bike felt like it was trying to throw me off like some sort of demented micky. Overall excellent workout. I am happy to be coming into a recovery week.

20 min TT

2011-01-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Another 20 minute TT... all I can say is wow those things sting the hell out of your legs. I felt like a vile animal with about 5 minutes to go. I had no idea of the amount of snot I could generate if forced. It is remarkable. I rode by a man walking his dog and he recoiled in disgust as I gnashed my drool-covered teeth and blew snot all over my jersey.

I tried to start out sort of conservatively as I was trying to negative split. FAILED. The goal was 350 watts and then build but for some reason I just can't hit that wattage consistently. I am between gears or something. The first 10 minutes were around 377 watts. The second 10 were just an exercise in holding on for dear life and fighting with the bike. I never seem to win that fight.

I ended with an average of 368 watts for 20 minutes! 2 watt PR. I wanted to validate my previous test as it seemed high. I hit it spot on. BALLIN

I wanted to vomit after. Well... I felt like vomiting. I didn't particularly want to.

Jarrod Shoemaker Gets His Cookies RAN as he qualifies for the US olympic team. JARROD-ERES UN ANIMAL ASCO.

Interview with Terenzo Bozzone

2011-01-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

BOOM! Opening the New Year with a killer interview. We are with one of my favorite athletes TERENZO BOZZONE. He is 25 and already has won world championships at several distances. He also has one of the most remarkable performances in all of triathlon history in his course record at Wildflower. He is currently setting his sites on Kona. Let's catch up with Terenzo...

JP: Terenzo, thanks so much for taking the interview. Let’s jump in, how did you get into triathlon?

T: I have always loved sport, and had always swam, but whilst wakeboarding as a kid I popped an ear drum and was forced out of the water for a while, so I picked up Duathlon. Which has evolved into triathlon and i have never looked back since.

JP: What was your best early memory at the races?

T: Winning the 2003 Triathlon World Champs in Queenstown, NZ

JP: To date one of the most impressive performances in triathlon history is your course record in Wildflower. That was absolutely stupid fast. Walk us through that day…

T: Just a perfect day, one every triathlete hopes for but struggles to find. Preparation went perfectly and my body just handled everything I gave to it. Let’s hope I can have more of them to come.

JP: You were originally a smoking fast short course boy. What was your experience like with ITU?

T: I enjoyed the speed and excitement of shorter races, but I like the lifestyle and freedom of the long course races.

JP: What lead you to transition to longer stuff?

T: Missing out on the Olympics was a big factor. However, after deciding to get into the long distance format it has become clear to me that at the end of the day legends are made on the lava fields in Kona!

JP: You have showed massive versatility over all distances but what type of race is the best for you?

T: I love everything about triathlon, swimming, biking and running. So I guess any distance is good for me as long as it is tough.

JP: Switching gears a bit, you seem to be into the social media with an awesome twitter account, a great blog, and a facebook page where you do some awesome product giveaways. What draws you to this form of media?

T: The social media aspect is very important to me, as its all about the fans! We as pros have a responsibility to grow the sport. My website, facebook fan site, and twitter are very accessible options for most to follow me. Let’s hope it inspires future athletes into this great sport.

JP: Word on the street is you did a lot of training with Macca this year. What is it like to train with him?
T: Macca is a good guy, there is never a dull moment and he is always willing to help.

JP: Bottom line is you are training with a competitor. Do you guys get into serious competition in training and try to one up each other?

T: No not really. He is near the end of his successful career and I am just getting going. There’re not many pros over 40 and not many Ironman World Champs under 35. So we have quite a good combination going.

JP: It seemed like a rough day at Kona. What was your race experience like?

T: Well a rough day it was. I thought I was in a much better position going into the race, the body felt stronger than ever, but for some reason or another it didn’t click on race day. That’s racing though. It’s these experiences that help me to learn more about my body and hopefully I can use them to win in Kona in the future.

JP: What are your goals for next year and what is it going to take to get it done?
T: Win a full distance Ironman, and a top 5 at Kona.

Lightning round:

Weight gain in the offseason or stable weight year round? Haha, weight gain of up to 5kgs in the off season.

Favorite race? That’s hard, I love racing throughout the world, and all races have something different about them which I love, but if I had to pick one I would say the Philippines 70.3 Not only was the race awesome, but the people there were so kind and genuine, I loved every minute.

Predict Lance Armstrong’s time in Kona if he races this year. That’s tough. I would think he would be competitive with Chrissie.

Chocolate or coffee? Why not both?!

Beer or wine? Again both!!

Job if not a pro triathlete? I have completed 2 years of a Physiotherapy degree here in NZ so if I wasn’t a pro triathlete I probably would have finished that. If triathlon was never in the picture growing up I always wanted to do Medicine.

JP: Thanks SO MUCH for the time, T. Last question, who are the sponsors who keep you going?

T: My sponsors are great, and I choose to be in partnership with them as I believe they are the best, and can help me be the best I can. They are K-Swiss, Plumbing World, Felt, Nutra Grain, Biestmilch, Profile Design, Aqua Sphere, Oakley, SRAM, Fuel Belt, Lazer, Triathlon Lab, Zipp, Prologo and Sidi.

Again, for more info on Terenzo, check him out. He does some cool stuff from race reports, product giveaways, and live race play by plays on twitter.

On Twitter

On facebook

Personal Website

20 min TT

2011-01-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Super delayed but I thought I would share anyway.

About two weeks back, I used my Joule and powertap to do a 20 minute time trial effort per Ms. Jill Savege's orders (my new coach). I did it on the Cycleops Powerbeam trainer to validate the data. It started out decently and I was seeing pretty high numbers. After 5 minutes I was feeling that battery acid pain. I didn't think I would make it. I almost cut it at 8 minutes and then again at 10 minutes. I was pushing between 380-400 watts through 10 minutes which is enormous for me! Keep in mind, I am very big so the watts look more impressive than they are. The pain and lack of fitness set in and my watts dropped off big time. I was staring at 330-350 and starting to feel the acid creep into my arms and up into my neck...very bad feeling. 18 minutes in and I was hanging on for dear life. Light at the end of the tunnel kept me from upchucking.

I ended with an average of 366 watts for 20 minutes! This is a huge improvement for me especially when unfit. 2 years ago when I did this test last, I put up something like 308-312 and that was way more fit.

After I had cold sweats and was sick to my stomach. I almost chundered.

If you aren't familiar with power then this probably doesn't make sense but power is cool so go snag a powertap and get training.

Just thought I would toss out a triathlon related post as my writing for the last little bit has been... nonsense.

OH YEAH NEW YEARS YEAH

2011-01-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! I am back... Just in time for you to begin your weak attempts at new years resolutions. Now, many of you think the trivial and cliche new years resolutions are the way to go. It seems everyone wants to get a gym membership, start volunteering, spend more time with family, live everyday like it's his or her last.... PUKE. Most don't stick. Let me enlighten you.... FACT: 93.4% of gym memberships are stupid. FACT: A gym is a festering den of germs, sin, and bacteria. FACT: Most people who go to gyms end up making their arms look like giant mushy hams instead of lean striated muscle.

Here's my take... if you are going to go down (all resolutions do) you might as well go down aiming high. That doesn't mean making your family volunteer at a gym for one whole day and then killing them. My opinion is that we all should resolve to try to become renaissance men and women. What does this mean? Well, my friends and I spent one drunk night coming up with a list of 10 qualities that are indisputable and should be treated as law. They are as follows:

1. Know tons of latin names of plants

2. Able to manage finances deftly...but knows how to make it rain when appropriate (see pacman jones)

No... I said, I'm NOT crazy! NOT crazy! Where's Roger Goodell? He can vouch for me.

3. Chops (musical, facial hair, etc)

4. Huge physical prowess. Able to go sub 9:25 in an Ironman.

5. Multi lingual.

6. Well read... it's ok to read comics or books with pictures sometimes but not always.

Gaston validates my opinion that Twilight is garbage and Stephenie Meyer should be put in prison for what she has done to a generation of youth

7. Discerning taste buds... but doesn't get confused by trends like drinking coffee made from cat poop.

I'm not sure if it is worse to be the first one to drink coffee from cat poop or if it is worse if you drink it thinking it is cool because it shows up in a trendy midtown new york coffee shop...

8. Super artsy but never breaks the law like those evil grafitti artists. Hey Banksy, next time write a letter to your senator you lawless goblin.

Check out what I did on the internet in 15 SECONDS!!!!! OH YEAH ARTSY YEAH!

9. Good with knives and other tools.

10. Super CURIOUS about EVERYTHING!!!!!

I've already done like everything on that list but that's neither here nor there. I just have to grow some chops and learn how to wield a knife. But this isn't about me. This is about you, bloggers. Get going.

Chubby Bunny and the Airing of Grievances

2010-12-20T20:18:00.001-08:00

I've been living in some sort of fantasy world where black licorice is a main food group and pizza is a breakfast food. Apparently my body has reacted to this and I have turned into a flabby goblin. I look like a marshmallow peep after 20 seconds in the microwave. Vile. Licorice just got thrown out.

On another note.... I'd like to share a very embarrassing story. I just got back from a trip to the ER. Here is a stupid explanation...I was operating on my powertap hub and trying to update the hub. I lacked the tool to remove the shell so I was using a knife. MISTAKE. I cut myself pretty deeply right on the knuckle. Quite frankly, I slit the hell out of my knuckle. My finger was absolutely puking blood all over my disc wheel. It was one of those legendary paper cuts.

My Mom is a nurse and Dad is an ER doc and they have conditioned me to not go to the hospital as most injuries just sort themselves out. Apparently the only exception to the rule is paper cuts

It was healing up slightly until I started writing a couple days ago. I was writing a christmas card and a few thank you cards and some checks... I incidentally was bending the heck out of it. About an hour later it had tripled in size

and I was calling my Dad to explain the situation (should have done that a week ago). He told me to get seen which worried me as that is coming from a man who has operated on me with a sewing needle that he had held over a candle. Again... who knew that paper cuts on the knuckle are the only exception to the never go to hospital rule. Anyway, I was just there to get on a course of antibiotics really. Thank god though cuz the Jersey Shore was on in the ER waiting room. I would say booya but that wouldn't do justice to the level of excitement that was gained from watching snooki screech like a howler monkey in heat even despite my finger pains.

Blair Witch Running PSA

2010-12-12T18:22:00.000-08:00

Listen, bloggers. I am writing a PSA. Being prepared is critical. This extends from how to handle your food when camping, to knowing how to fix a flat tire, and even to predator/prey situations. Don't bother reading this if your idea of a good time is cozying up on the sofa and catching up on your DVD of Lost Season 2. Continue reading if you have one too many coffees and start thinking that finding a coyote in the wild and attacking it might be a good idea. You are my target audience...

Some baller taking life by the B@ll$ and confronting a coyote on Snowboard

Here goes:

You never know when you will need to escape. But I can tell you one thing... if you wait to find out when, it's already too late. Constant vigilance isn't enough. You need to be ready. I know you're probably thinking, "HOLY CRAP! What if I get eaten by a falcon or worse? JP! HELP! LOL! TELL US WHAT TO DO." Settle down. You're lucky I am writing this.

Escaping is critical. It is an essential skill that few, in our sedentary, feeding trough society, could do properly. So without further ado: here is my guide for developing your flight mechanism.

1. Get a headlamp (all good ideas start here)

2. Lie in wait til that bothersome sun goes away and has been gone for several hours. Make sure the moon isn't around either.

3. Play some "Comfort Eagle" by cake, bong a few energy drinks, and snort some cayenne. This is a critical step to heighten your senses.

4. Go outside and run directly into a forest.

5. Run around until you are disoriented. This should take at least 30 minutes.

6. Now... you should be around some animals. Even squirrels will do... Remember, this is a dry run. It's better if the animals aren't big.

7. With your heightened senses from step 3 and sight deprivation, your ears are firing on all cylinders.

8. Stop and turn off your light.

9. As soon as you hear a twig crack, SPRINT for your life. It's the blair witch you dumb ass.

10. You should be lost by now, just like those stupid kids. You are probably also frightened. Don't panic or pee yourself, you coward. Use your wits to get home. The key is to sprint like a scared rabbit every time you hear anything.

Repeat this as many times as needed until you feel equipped to deal with any bird of prey attack or run in with a bully.

I am training again! I'm back baby.

A NEW REGIME!

2010-12-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

The past two days have been the first two under a new regime. I am no longer in the driver seat, piloting wherever I please, lazing about in the pool like a crawdad. I have a coach and I am pumped!

Jill Savege is taking the reins from my incompetent hands. I was sold after we met the first time and found out how aligned we were in terms of training philosophy. She has excelled at a variety of distances. She was on the Canadian National team, won multiple world cups, and has a few top Ironman places and a top 10 at Hawaii.

If I tell you any more I will have to kill you, but you can bet your ass I will be ballin this season.

In other news, I slit my finger wide open while messing with a knife. I don't want to go into specifics of how or why I was doing what I was doing with said knife. My mom reads this and it will make her anxious. I bled like I would never get a chance to bleed again and it got all over my disc wheel and my computer.

My family has been conditioned to not go to the hospital so that wasn't an option. Mom is a nurse and Dad is a doctor so they see a lot of false alarms and they made sure we were never among them. I figured out (read: googled) how to cut butterfly bandages to bring the skin together as it was on the knuckle. However, this was after a day of bleeding all over and several failed bandaging attempts. I splattered it all over my disc wheel and dripped on my computer. It has stopped now.

Potato Reenactment

Finally, I have some BIG news. I may have scored an interview with a LEGEND. I will give you a hint: he is one of the Big Four. If you don't know what I am talking about, google it or stick your head in an oven or something. I have already interviewed two of the four so you have a 50/50 chance. Stay tuned.

Iris Questions and Answers

2010-12-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

Disregard this post if you aren't pretty interested in triathlon training. It will put you to sleep. It probably will anyway. I don't care.

One of my friends, Iris, recently asked for some input on her upcoming season and how to structure it. Good questions. Trying to provide some useful feedback got me thinking and I thought I would share my answer. These are some things that have taken a long time for me to learn. Disclaimer: training is so individual that, while this is great training for me, it may leave something to be desired for you. Different strokes for different folks. Anyway, on with the show.

Training:

This statement “Anyway, pretty soon I really want to start doing lots and lots and lots of training.” is not a good idea. Start lightly with mostly aerobic stuff. Keep it pretty aerobic/ steady for 6-8 weeks, then you can start to inject some intensity. Keep in mind, aerobic does not mean slow. It is pretty challenging to keep steady and not fade when in your aerobic zone. It starts out feeling easy then it gets pretty tough once you are a while in… Once you can maintain power for say 2.5-3 hours on the bike, you have earned the right to continue to intense training. Think of it as graduating to harder training.

Here are some basic guidelines and things that have worked for me (may not work for you)

· Consistency in all disciplines, almost never went more than 72 hrs between sessions in each sport

· Frequency in running to build durability... A lot of injuries come from people neglecting to train their connective tissue (doesn’t have to be long but I was running 5-7 times a week most weeks- low intensity on most)

· Strength on the bike (lots of steady/ mod hard efforts… building the distance on these during the major IM build)

· Continuous swimming was a good addition but I was lacking variety/ overall length in swim training

· I used lots of caution with intensity but probably too little development of top end

· Racing infrequently to keep training blocks uninterrupted (probably not applicable to you as you seem to handle a large race load…big difference between small girls and large guys)

She then asked a question about recovery and the 3 weeks on, 1 week off axiom of triathlon training....

I disagree with the 3 up 1 down system...this is the structure that most people follow, but I have found that it is too long to train and too long to recover. I think most people would do better with a 10-16 day training period followed by a 2-5 day block of recovery... I find that overall I can take fewer recovery days this way and hit the training with fresher legs.

For example, If you can make 10 days of training, then take 2 recovery days to feel fresh, then repeat. You have just completed 20 training days and 4 recovery days vs the 3 up 1 down system of 21 training and 7 recovery days ... 10 and 2 is more efficient and generally the 10 and 10 are more quality than 21 straight. Personally, if I train hard longer than 16 days and try to make it 21, the last five days are shit and worthless in terms of building fitness. To make matters worse, it almost always takes the full 7 days to fully recover. The point is to maximize your training time during your blocks and get completely fresh during your recovery... Simple but not easy.

I take recovery by feel. If it takes 2 days to feel completely fresh, then good and I will immediately get back into training. If it takes 7, then fine but the point is to feel completely fresh. Same with training, if you get blasted quick then take a day off. You should end your training block feeling properly tired... not too deep in the bucket, but definitely not fresh... it takes a long time to learn what is properly tired. It takes time to learn the system that is best for you.

My overall guidelines are to be frequent, be consistent, don’t overdo it in any individual session and don’t get caught up in competition in practice…sometimes is ok but all the time is not, be diligent about recovery, minimize processed food and gluten. Work in the following order: form then aerobic/strength then speed.

Chelsea, MI... I am thankful for you! LOL

2010-11-28T15:47:00.000-08:00

I am writing this from a flight back from Michigan. I am on a spirit air flight that feels more like a stuffy cattle car. I am, once again, crossing my long legs to give my lengthy femurs space in the hell-pod they call a seat. It is thoroughly rotten but only you know my plight, bloggers. I suffer in silence…but not electronically. To you, I wail like a banshee. The good news is my flight is like the exact opposite of how the previous several days went.

Spending thanksgiving at home was exceptional. I got home on Tuesday and hung around with my parents, sister, and a ton of good friends. The one bad decision was more or less mainlining gravy and beer for several days. I have never been a huge gravy person, but things change…people change. Profound, I know.

Highlights of the thanksgiving break include but are not limited to seeing Cullen (roommate from MSU and all around sarcastic, hilarious, hobbit lookalike), Travis and Alex (friends from Chelsea who are affectionately known as trailmix due to their recent engagement), Rory and Aaron (cute, music-loving lifemates and friends from Chelsea), Leroy (roommate and ballerina teacher from MSU, in addition good buddy), Inch (MSU tri buddy going to Kona with me) and Monica (ring maker and certainly in the top ten of most likable people in the world). Lauren, Kelly, Adam, Kathleen, and I am sure I am forgetting others, made lamentably small but enjoyable appearances.

The best was seeing my mom, dad, and sister. As far as families go, they are absolute legends and hanging out was about the most excellent thing I could have imagined.

My mom is the most loving, fun woman bar none. She is also a ridiculously good cook. She is better than you mother. Flat out. I am not biased. Come see. My dad is probably the most hilarious person on the planet. He is also incredibly competent and a man of serious integrity. My sister is my best friend. She is the greatest and our connection runs stupidly deep. She and I see eye to eye on nearly everything and are more or less clones. She is the greatest. I love them more than I can possibly communicate on a dumb @$$ blog.

I am thankful for everyone in my life. I am more blessed than I could have ever dreamed. My life may have a confusing script and the lead role may be played by a mildly irritating bumbler, but I have a phenomenal supporting cast. I love you all and thanks for making the week great.

Here are some photos so you can see the people who I constantly yammer about...

Me and Leroy enjoying a moment together

Rory and I baywatchin' it up

Cullen and I molesting the Green Lantern at six flags... during this picture taking session he yelled, in a raspy voice, "why are they doing this?" hahaha. No good answer for that.

Alex me and Travy! FUNNNNNNNN!

Family of legends!

Attention Deficit

2010-11-18T19:32:00.001-08:00

Look-bloggers. You are going to have to forgive my antsy/hostile/over-enthusiastic/spastic/ bipolar behavior/writing. Apparently, I come bleeping unglued when I don't exercise. It's not that I am physically twitchy or anything... well actually I do have epilepsy (true) but that's beside the point. It is just that my moods are like stuck in overdrive. I am like a roller coaster. I am just as likely to kick a kitten off an overpass in a blind fury as I am to get teary-eyed over an episode of glee.

Shit man. I need to get untired soon so I can go nuts with exercise again. Time is wasting and Lance Armstrong is getting fitter as we speak.

Adios for now... I'll leave you with an awesome quotes

"OMG! LOL! I am going to tweet about your ignorance!"- My Sister, Rachel (talking shit about Monks' lack of touch with technology)

"All this fuss over a pork sandwich?"- Caitlin Dark (after listening to me and my roommate rave for fifteen minutes about pulled pork)

"You are delightful...but certainly not now"- Caitlin Dark (after hearing me declare how delightful I thought I was being)

"You're not having one of your private dance parties again, are you?"- Caitlin in reference to my epilepsy... she thinks it is funny to poke fun at my illness... sick.

One of those is fake... can you guess which one?

Here are a few more pics of IM... This post is all over the place

Did you get motion sick from reading this yet? Whatever, I'm going to watch legally blonde!!!!!

Ironman Epilogue

2010-11-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

What have I been up to post-Ironman?

Well, it all starts with absolute gluttony. Here are some highlights... race night was capped off by a saline IV to keep me from passing out, followed closely by 3 slices of pizza, 2 greasy pretzels, 1/2 box of hot tamales, and 1/2 bag of sour patch kids. The IV was critical in allowing me to be conscious while ingesting the rest of the stuff.

Following my return to California, I reintroduced myself to cereal... with style. 2 boxes of eggo cereal, 1 box of pb crunch and now I am starting on cinnabon cereal. The major highlight was eating 5 frozen snickers bars in 4 hours. I have put on my allotted amount of belly fat for the off season...in a week! I look like a marshmallow puff. Excellent.

I have done no exercise except thursday when I went out on a bike ride. My legs feel sweet. I have amazing range of motion but my lungs and heart are so deeply fatigued it is insane.

Yesterday Cait and I went to Solvang (a fake danish town) and poked around.

We went to an apple orchard where we launched apples at each other like guerillas, dodging in and out of trees, and took senior pictures by an obscenely large pumpkin.

Yes I wear sweat pants in public, does it look like I care?! WHAT!? THUG LIFE

First two shots captured me in my element.

Then things got serious....

HAHAHAHA! This was just her natural pose when I said, "ok now you take a picture with that pumpkin"... I burst out laughing and told her it wasn't a senior picture. But actually I guess it was... Not sure what goes on in that pretty little head sometimes.

After seeing her elegance with the pumpkin, I had to try....

These pictures are actually better than my real senior pictures. I won't show those because I think it will bring back annoying memories for my mom. She is a very patient woman and already had to live through my high school years once.

I did a 10k today and wow... what a mistake that was. I did it because Nokia comped my entry so I figured eh why not... Why not? Because you are 1 week removed from an Ironman. But it's free! Not running would be like looking a gift horse in the mouth and then shooting it in the face. No sir. Not me. I may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them.

Look at that stupid idiot who thinks this 10k is going to be anything other than slow, humbling, and uncomfortable

Anyway the race went absolutely horribly after mile 2. My legs are shockingly pretty smoked (albeit less so than I thought) and my heart and lungs are being obstinate little bastards right now. I did manage to hold off the 3rd place woman to take 20th overall in a legendary time of 41 minutes and change. That was certainly the hardest 41 minute 10k I have ever done. As I type this, I have sort of an achy feverish feeling and am inexplicably cold. That is from dipping into a well that has already run dry. Lesson learned.

That is the face of a piss poor time, uncomfortable effort, and nearly getting chicked at the finish! Racing is great though. Free racing is the best. Fully catered run.

Macca and Terenzo Bozzone were there too, which was awesome. I had interviewed Macca with Simply Stu earlier in the week but At&T failed me again and I was spat off the call mid way through... I apologized for the snafu. He was incredibly mad and spat in my face. He then turned over the table he was sitting at and stormed off, screeching curses like an irritated howler monkey..... Weird I know.

Actually, he was very good natured and told me about his blistering 23 minute 5k. He and Terenzo set the world on fire in the 5k fun run, finishing mid pack... guess that shows you the level of talent at the Calabasas Classic. Even the people with baby strollers can outpace a couple of world champs.

Adios for now...

Michigan State Abuses Ironman Florida

2010-11-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

Other highlights from the MSU team-

Matt Inch finished in 9:28 and snagged the 18-24 slot so we are going to the big island together! We had talked about it all year as sort of a “wouldn’t it be ridiculous if” situation and it actually happened. Unreal. But let the record show that I have my shirt back...

Inch- You really thought you'd never lose to me again?

Anthony Klingler finished in 9:46. He committed to the race and went out hard. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take and he took his shot. He showed major courage out there. Not many people get after it in Ironman and if you do, sometimes it doesn’t work out. He finished in a stellar time and has major upside for his next race. He is now going after Ironman Louisville to get in for Kona 2011. He should get in with a well executed race.

Despite how stupid Kling looks, he is actually in Vet school and doing quite well... I still can't really believe it.

Greg Boyd finished in a brilliant 10:20. He executed his race to a T and got the marathon he didn’t think was possible. He was shooting for 4:30. I told him 4 easy... he hit 3:56...Absolutely spot on. He has had some frustrating Ironman runs and finally drilled it. Love your work, Greggles.

Greg doing things to himself that should be done behind closed doors...kidding... he is putting on his shirt

Eric Tingwall had a huge issue on his bike when he snapped a spoke and his wheel was thrashing his frame. The extent of the damage would have ended 99% of the participants’ days, but Tingwall is a legend. He thought about waiting for wheel support then decided he would just fix it. He trued his wheel on the side of the road, wrapped his spoke around another spoke like a zip tie and finished up. Tingwall also fixed a garbage disposal before the race. He is the epitome of what it means to be a MAN. He is my inspiration.

Tingwall- after showing the disposal what was up.

Mike, Cindy, and Chris Matulis all represented the Matuli well. Kate Salvadore and Josh McCallum also had strong races. Josh's dad also did his first IM! I didn’t get to talk to these guys as much about their races as we all kinda bolted the day after but the Spartan presence was insane.

Cindy had the same smile at mile 16 of the run

We had huge fan support from Michelle Dawes, Iris Lessard, Nancy Boyd, Joe Matulis, the Inch clan, the Klingler clan, Caitlin, Rachel, my dad, and my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin. Sean and Sarah, our friends from the Dominican, came out with their new baby, Sullly. It was incredible to see them.

Sean and Sarah. Sully too! That baby is a legend. He'll probably hate Hemingway to spite Big Daddy

I was feeling the support from people watching from home too and it was awesome to have so much positivity sent my way after the race. My sister and Caitlin really helped me drill it for the last 10k. My sister especially knows how to push the right buttons and I always race better when she is cracking the whip.

Doesn't she look like a master motivator?

My dad also gets major props for bringing an IV and forcing it on me after the race. I recovered and didn't go into the Ironman Wisconsin coma that I was headed for...

MSU KILLED IT. Greg summed it up best when he said something to the extent of, “Well a 10:20 really sounds good but it only was good for 4^th in our condo of 5 racers.” We went stupid fast. 2 Kona spots and a ton of epic racing. Overall it was better than I could have hoped.

Dream Team/ Team SeverInch (obviously me and inch) vs. Cream Team (rachel and boyd) playing euchre... Dream team is going to Kona!

Ironman Part III

2010-11-08T16:15:00.001-08:00

Part 3

I went through the 1^st 6 miles moving pretty well, but to my annoyance Klingler caught me at mile 6…. He went out in 6:44’s! I was impressed and tried to go with him. We ran together for a mile when a guy in his age group passed. I said, “There goes your kona slot, you need to go.” Secretly I was thinking, “this move needs to be made but it may over extend him and then I can pull him back once he blows.” Evil… I know. But I don’t like losing, even to my friends and teammates. Well… especially to them. We talk a lot about beating each other and losses are not forgotten quickly.

I watched as he went up the road. It looked like it was just Klingler’s day. Ugh. My body was starting to not cooperate. Just as I entered a dark spot, it got worse as I got news that Inch was 30 seconds back. Son of a ^%#$... I mean… bunions that itch. He picked me up and touched my butt cheek soothingly as he went by… dammit. My race was unraveling. I was thinking that it was going to be my first walk fest disaster in a race. Mile 11 came and I hit rock bottom. I was thinking aid station to aid station. I stopped. I looted that aid station like I was packing for a week-long trip in the back country and set off again. The next three miles were rough and I watched, after a turn around, as Inch and Klingler battled about 3 minute up the road. I was out of it. I stumbled through just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Picture doesn't do it justice but I am dead on my feet at Mile 12

It was the weirdest thing though...Mile 14 came and suddenly, I came good! I kept thinking, "if you feel good, go with it and hit the gas". I pushed the pace and shockingly, 7:20 pace was doable again. I blasted and suddenly I was was reeling in Klingler. He was paying for his ridiculous 1^st 10k and I moved passed easily. I was pulling people back all over the place and soon I could see Inch on the horizon. He was 1 minute up. 1 mile later, he was 20 seconds up. I started getting goosebumps as I hunted. Mile 19 came and I was 5 seconds back thinking how stupid this comeback was. I got on his shoulder and said, "Hey buddy, I'm back from the dead." I was ready for a rest. I could tell he wasn't expecting me as we talked a bit. We ran the next half mile together in silence. We had dialed the pace up to a point that was pretty uncomfortable so late in the race. We went from 7:30's down to 7:17's. Not pleasant. I needed to get away. NOW.

I can't believe someone got this photo (props to Joe Matulis)... Mile 19.5 running shoulder to shoulder with Inch. MSU Ironwar.

I needed to get some breathing room and settle back to an easier pace after breaking the rubber band. Literally it was the exact same scenario as the ironwar this year at Kona. Macca pounced when Raleart went for coke at an aid station. Our MSU ironwar went down the same way. We went through the aid station at mile 21 and I dropped back to grab some water and to watch how he was feeling. He went up and grabbed some coke. To my surprise, he slowed to walk for about 5 steps to get it down. As soon as I saw him walk, I jumped and took off like I stole something. The next mile was 6:50. I didn’t look back. I was running scared. I panicked, thinking that I made the move way too early and didn’t have enough juice to get home. The next mile was 7:10 and I eased up and looked back. He was gone. Still nervous, I settled into 7:40-8:00 pace and ticked a mile off. I saw my sister and told her to go get me a split to inch. She guessed at about 2 minutes. Whoa! It was the most ridiculous comeback I could have imagined. Once you are passed in an Ironman, coming back is pretty much out of the question…. I rode the adrenaline and pulled back probably 10-15 places over the final 10k. I hit mile 24 running 7:30’s and picked up a German guy who was shuffling. I had drilled the bike for about 5 miles coming into town with this guy and he took off on me at mile 2 on the marathon! I went by but he was a mongrel and didn't want to let a place slip away. He stuck on my back as I went by but I was having none of it. I ratcheted the pace up and we were flying at 6:50's. He was right there. I was feeling stupidly good and I turned the screws and closed the final mile in a 6:40 and spat him out the back with 600 to go. With 400 to go I looked at my garmin and saw 6:11 pace.... COME ON! I hit the finish and absolutely lost it. I shot my hands to the sky thanking God. I turned, almost in tears, to see the german come down the finish. I was so impressed with his fight. Not many people are racing at mile 25 in the marathon but he was an animal. He had a massive smile on and we hugged it out, laughing like idiots.

I couldn’t have written it better. It was epic.

Split-3:29

Final time was 9:24 and 3^rd in the 25-29 age group. It ended up being good enough for a Kona spot! No roll down either. Inch snagged a spot too in the 18-24 division with a 9:28. But the key is that I got my shirt back.

It is a dream. We are headed to the big island for MSU Ironwar round II.

ON TO KONA AND A DEUL WITH LONG TIME FOE: LANCE ARMSTRONG

Ironman Part II

2010-11-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Part 2

Coming out of T1, I set out hard and the wind was in my face but the legs were feeling magic. I started moving through the field and pushing a big gear. The last Ironman I did (wisconsin) I slid back through the field on the bike which really pissed me off as I usually am a pretty good biker. I was stoked to be moving up. The order of the jungle had been restored as I had trained myself to ride a proper 112 miles.

MSU tri supporters- Iris, Nancy and Klingler’s family gave me a split that I was three minutes down to Inch at mile 35… I was thinking, “what the hell? No way am I three down.” I shifted down, screamed a curse that I won’t repeat (it sounds like bunions that itch) and set off. They drove away leaving me quite annoyed. The anger was short lived as I saw them a quarter mile later yelling that he was the next biker up the road! Apparently, the 3-minute split was after the swim… Beauty! I caught him and we worked together for 16 miles and peed a ton, which was weird for the aid stations workers as they heard us grunting together trying to get the stream going. This isn’t really a pretty sport.

I felt strong so I pushed to break away after seeing about 3 major groups of drafters on an out and back. Klingler, another MSU racer to whom I despise losing, was in one of the groups. Shit. I needed breathing room but just as I picked up the pace, the constant stream of gu’s I had been shoveling down my gullet started to make me sick… I let up trying to keep from ralphing and a group of four guys picked me up. I was miffed as they were weaker riders but I was content to let them work as I tried to get my stomach to come around. Once it did, I went to the front and blasted off as we turned and got the wind at our back. I rocked home and, on another out and back, saw my two teammates (inch and klingler) in a group of about 20-30. Dammit. I needed time on both of them to be able to relax on the marathon so I doubled the effort despite having to go alone. They were less than 3 minutes back.

NOW: rant time. I did not enjoy the Ironman Florida biking as it really rewards middle of the pack swimmers who come out onto the bike in huge groups. They then shamelessly draft in the STRONG wind on the course. Drafting isn’t an issue when you are up front, but about 5 minutes back it is ridiculous and I felt I was robbed of one of the faster bike splits as weak riders ended up out splitting me because they are sitting in huge packs. Fair enough- it isn't just a bike race but I think I will be doing a more honest Ironman next time.

Either way, I got into transition feeling ok. I knew I had to hustle through to bank some free time on Inch and Kling. They are both capable of running in the 3:15 range and I didn't want to be forced into an unreasonable pace too early. I got out of T2 and heard, "and here comes John Severin... leading his age group!" Excellent start to a marathon.

Split- 4:52 (23 mph average)

Ironman part I

2010-11-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

Wow… Ironman Florida actually happened. This weekend was about as meaty as Chef Boyardee ravioli so it is going to take multiple posts to convey how it unfolded… I know you all have short attention spans so it makes sense to cut it up. First up are 6 reasons to continue reading

You like triathlon and are indifferent to the actual specifics so long as it relates to triathlon
You are interested in how a most epic day panned out for yours truly
You gleefully hope something bad happened to me and I blew apart
You are bored at work and have a weird man pony-tail (probably will only make sense to one of you)
You want to hear about an IronWar between three MSU Spartans that was nearly as exciting as watching Macca and Raleart duel at the end of Kona
You are my mom
You are stalking me. You should be ashamed of yourself, pervert. I forgive you though. In this modern age, it is pretty easy to casually stalk someone and if forbes made a list of 500 most stalkable people, I would be probably in the mid 200's.

I digress.

Here is part 1

Race week started out by getting to the apartment where I was rooming with a ton of my good friends from MSU. Matt, Greg, Eric, and Anthony were all racing. It was a reunion of Ironman Wisconsin. Also, it was basically a foul-mouthed, euchre and South Park fest with very little thought of the race for the first couple days.

The weather was horrible. It was rainy and getting progressively colder but the forecast was good for race day, especially for the exceptionally thick individuals of the MSU tri team. We like the cold mainly because it freezes the other manorexic triathletes.

Race night came and I could barely sleep. There was so much build up that was finally going to be realized. I rarely struggle sleeping but this was one night that beat me up. I woke up at 3:30 thinking it was 4:30… I went back to bed and an hour later rolled out of bed and groggily made coffee and got my crap together. We all headed out and got into transition to set things up. It was in the high 40’s and I have to imagine that was in peoples’ heads. I love the fact that most triathletes are giant head cases… they just over think everything and freak themselves out of races. It’s almost like the only time people want to race is 70 degrees, no wind, and a course with no hills. I used to think like this but finally realized it never happens. Today was pretty windy and cold which is absolutely ideal for me.

I made my way over to the swim start and I was shocked to see my dad! He hadn’t told me he was coming and had jumped a plane 2 days prior. I was blown away and completely stoked. He put me on the phone with my mom and she had a few words for me. It was incredible. I had such awesome support from my sister, Caitlin, the MSU crew and now my dad. They got me through some majorly rough spots and the support on the course was huge.

Anyway, I lined up to the far left to give myself a super clean line and the cannon went off. I blasted the first 500 to get clear water and settled in. The current was strong but I hit the first turn buoy and started riding the waves. I came out of the water on the first loop feeling good. It was a tale of two loops and I struggled to find a rhythm on the second go around. I fought the waves rather than using them and just had a garbage back half of the swim. 1^st loop was 26:35

2^nd was 30:00. Rough. I was happy to be out of the water and got into T1 with a major purpose of blasting the first hour of the bike to catch my buddy, Matt Inch. He and I go at each other in every race we do together and I wanted to set the tone by catching him early to get in his head. Each race we do together, we have a prize for the winner. It is a half zip MSU tri shirt that we both covet. Whoever wins gets the shirt til the next race. He has had it for a while and I wanted my damn shirt back.

Split- 56:35

Panamaniac

2010-11-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

SICK!!!! at the airport again… I got up super early and bombed to airport only to realize that I had just bombed on an expired license…Apparently airport security doesn’t take too kindly to this. However, I have a fresh cut Mohawk and a gentle lamb’s attitude so they let me through after taking a look at every other thing in my wallet. Health insurance card, library card, and gum wrappers were dumped onto the kiosk and apparently were sufficient. In all this distraction, I wasn’t charged the 175 buck bike fee! Awesome start.

Flights were uneventful and I got to Panama city and called my buddies. They were still in Alabama so I set up my bike and got it nice and primed for racing…beauty. Then I called again (probably irritating the boys) and they still hadn’t arrived. I was getting itchy legs just sitting around, so I asked the information desk to watch my plethora of crap and I trotted out for a run. I pilfered a dept. of transportation construction site for stuff that I could use on my bike and found some plastic end caps and nick nacks that I might try to fashion into a container for a flat kit. My legs felt magic and the weather is pretty good. Most likely people will be bitching about the humidity but really it is about as perfect as any race weather can get. Hopefully it holds out.

The area around the panama city airport is, strangely enough, unbelievable running terrain. Lots of flat grass, perfect pavement, and smooth lonely dirt roads. It was a perfect shake out. I am super relaxed now. Few boxes to tick before Saturday but I should be ready to go….

Hoping for a midnight ocean swim!

Happy Baday

2010-10-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was pretty cool. Cait made me banana bread so I woke up to hot banana bread with candles stuffed in it- Awesome. Then, I got dressed as Harry Potter. Not for any weird personal reasons just for Halloween purposes. Then I opened my presents. Mainly food presents-Awesome. I also got this from one of my good friends, Iris.... Check it out

Pretty Stellar.

Thanks, Iris.

I talked to my Parents for a while and they also got me food related items. My roommates did too. You may ask, "but JP, food isn't a present! Is it? LOL!!!"

Well, despite your obnoxious use of LOL's and exclamation points, I will answer your question. Yes. It is. It's called a birthday stocking. Just like a christmas stocking, but on Birthdays. I invented it (patent pending). I have explained this concept to everyone I love and it results in my getting about 3-6 birthday stockings each year. The best part is they are always different. And if they are the same... who cares! Food is good even if you have two of something.

Anways...It was a perfect Birthday. Going out for a ride now. Bye bye.

Macca Video

2010-10-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

Breakdown of Macca's race. He was dealt a great hand and played it to perfection. RAYNARD! Hit the Gas!

Plotting

2010-10-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

"Great things happen to people who make great things happen to themselves."-Simon Whitfield

Ironman Florida is coming up quick and I am ready to jump out of my skin. Legs feel kinda like shite. Heart and lungs feel supercharged. Legs will come around so all is on track...

My head is kind of getting away from me and I am starting to have some really high expectations, bordering on unreasonable. In order to achieve what I am now shooting for, everything will have to be executed to perfection. I am prepared to dip deep into the well to make it happen, but it may take more than that.

Plan is to swim super strong but not empty the tank. The bike is where the bread will be buttered. I am not interested in the common "hold back" bike technique that everyone preaches for Ironman. I did it at Ironman Wisconsin and it is fine when going after Ironman completion. I left at least 10 minutes on the table at that race by touring on the bike instead of racing. Soft strategies are for people who are scared to fail. I am ready to air it out on the bike and have done it in every brick/ long bike all season. No reason to soft pedal now. The key to the race will be easing into the marathon. Unlike the bike, I can't get away with any bull on the run. I want to race to my potential and either it will result in a super fast time or complete implosion 14 miles into the marathon. Fireworks either way.

Today was a fairytale

2010-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

I WORE A DRESS! YOU WORE A DARK GREY T-SHIRT. YOU TOLD ME I WAS PRETTY WHEN I LOOKED LIKE A MESS. TODAY WAS A FAIRYTAAAAAALLLLLEEE.

Just thought I would get your attention. Taylor Swift is a talent that comes along once in a generation so you better be paying attention. Now that I have a captive audience, I'd like to tell you some cool news. Cait's back! The peck returned from Yosemite where she was chaperoning brats for a week. Yes, THE yosemite of "double rainbow" fame. If you don't know the youtube clip "double rainbow", it isn't funny. What is funny is she went through a week of the kids shouting double rainbow every five seconds and busting up laughing. I would have fit in well so I am planning on chaperoning next time.

I was pumped that she got back. So pumped that I went for a bike ride without her. Then we went hiking where I constantly reminded her of the double rainbow by shouting it every time we crested a hill. It's the gift that keeps on giving. OH MY GOD IT'S SO BRIGHT AND VIVID.

Brick is on the agenda today. Legs feel sweet on the bike especially.

Here's something that is actually funny. Little treat for getting to the end of yet another pointless post.

Ease up on the Gas. Grilled Cheesus.

2010-10-22T12:21:00.001-07:00

I went flippin stir crazy during my recovery week. I was jumping out of my skin but my body was totally in the bucket and I was having trouble climbing out. Finally I came right just in time to hit some major workouts with my buddy from out of town... They promptly put me back in the bucket. Shit.

Instead of resting, I hit a huge speed workout on my bike that had me cross-eyed by the end... literally. It was just for a second but I was actually cross-eyed. Pretty funny and new experience.

I took a day to relax but couldn't help thrashing myself in the pool. Damn. Then feeling that pull and feeling a bit chubby, I hit another hard workout: 1 hr 50 min strong strong ride with big wind and some ok climbs then a 30 min hillacious run. Damn.

I got smart about getting back on track and ate super healthy, did the 30 min window of carbs and a bit of protein, then jumped in the pool and the hot tub to bob around and let my muscles chill.

I feel good today. Short nice and easy swim... no thrashing myself. Good. Trying to resist my running shoes calling my name. God. I need to ease off and I know it as I am trying to get fresh for Ironman but I can't for some reason. That's the problem with addiction, I guess. I would be a terrible heroine addict. Honestly though, triathlon is probably more expensive.

Unrelated. I have some book recommendations for those of you who geek out properly on endurance stuff.

once a runner (classic book about a miler... super intense and motivating read)
again to carthage (same miler transitions to the marathon... weird pacing and slow beginning but picks up)
simon says gold (kinda corny shit writing but cool to hear about simon whitfield in general)

I am about to start a book born to run, high crimes (mountain climbing), and then Mark Allen's new book... I'll let you know.

Good Weekend pt. 2

2010-10-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

The next day Caitlin was off on a trip to Yosemite where she will be chaperoning a week long 8th grade field trip (read: getting paid to hike around in a national park). Me and Aaron connected with a lady near my house who has a 15,000 dollar titanium tandem bike. Sidenote: She is also Macca and Terenzo’s homestay and has all their bikes from Kona. Awesome to see.

The plan was to do a 60 mile ride then a 45 minute run. We headed over to her house. Turns out it is a ridiculous mansion, kitty corner from the Kardashians’ place. Weird. We tried to outfit the tandem as best we could but it was made for midgets and babies. I felt like I was on a tricycle but we got rolling. The gearing was paltry. They apparently run tiny teacup nancy gears instead of manly dinner plate gears and we spun out a ton. The rain was coming down as we headed around the Santa Monica mountains. Lots of climbing and 60 miles later, we jumped off and onto the run. The plan was to run at Ironman pace for a bit then turn the screws but we hit it hard from the gun. It was super hilly and we were both puffing by the end. We finished on an uphill and I was really happy with the effort 3 weeks out from Ironman.

We bounced back to the house and off to a hole-in-the-wall Italian place for dinner. I haven’t had pasta in 3 months and I basically inhaled it. I met a couple of his friends from the LA tri club and we geeked out on triathlon talk. Overall, amazing weekend with a good friend. The training was spot on and my legs are feeling good. 3 weeks to go...

Good Weekend Pt. 1

2010-10-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

Finally my down week is over. I just started my last bit of training before Ironman. My friend, Aaron Scheidies, came into town on Friday. We had plans to meet up at the Distance Swim Challenge in Santa Monica the next day. I did a 2.4 mile race and he was entered in the 4.8 mile race. As I made my way over to the start, I saw him coming into the halfway point of his race. Keep in mind, Scheidies is visually impaired. I saw him coming in and I noticed that his guide (a kayaker) was following him. Not the other way around. This is a major problem for a blind person swimming in a very large ocean. He was snaking all over the place, apparently with designs of swimming an extra 2.4 miles just for kicks. The crazy thing was he was leading the race. Haha. Service to all able bodied athletes.

After watching him, I took off with about a group of 60 swimmers and got out past the surf break and quickly into a rhythm. I jumped on a train of two feet and sat in, still pushing to stay on their feet. We came around the 1.2 mile buoy and the train broke apart. The second guy dropped 15 m back and the lead guy went off the front. I was stranded in no man’s land as I headed into a “check point” halfway through. It was some sort of anal medical check on the orders of the LA life guard. Anyway, I headed back out into a big surf. This time, instead of slipping out of the surf like a baby dolphin, I was barreled 4 times like an obese hippo in the ocean for the first time. I lost 30 meters to the guy behind me and he hit the turn buoy up by 5 meters. In a blind rage, I hit the gas to regain my spot in 3rd. I swam hard for 100 strokes and flipped onto my back to check where he was. 8 meters back and swimming well. The good thing was I had enough of a gap so he wasn't drafting. We hit the turn buoy to the finish and I checked. He was 4 meters back and sprinting. I absolutely redlined, rode a wave in, and hit the beach. We almost reeled in 2nd place who was probably 100 meters up at the turn. I sprinted up the beach and promptly fell and ate a bunch of sand. I scrambled back to my feet, looked over my shoulder, and crossed the finish 15 seconds up and on the podium. I grabbed my knees and rasped for O2. Good race.

After, I talked to Caitlin for a bit and I met up with Aaron who was highly disoriented and chaffed all over his body. He had won the 4.8 mile swim! I also had a huge raw wound all over my neck from sand getting in the wetsuit and we griped to each other as we headed to Starbucks. Off to the awards and the VIP tent (Aaron is big business) where we met Marcellus Wiley (NFL player and ESPN analyst) who had just learned to swim and was in the 1.2 mile race, no doubt floundering like a wounded harp seal. Then we headed back to my house after collecting our prizes (floor tiles that had first place painted on them) and had a few beers.

Beans Beans the musical fruit

2010-10-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Not talking about the standard green bean that may or may not cause flatulence. I am talking about the bean responsible for the elixir of the Gods. The coffee bean may get a lot of love. But let me tell you it is STILL underappreciated. Here are some comments about the beauty of coffee.

1. Nothin gets my colon rollin’ like a huge cup in the morning…Sorry coworkers. You should thank your lucky stars for industrial flushers.
2. I would snort or mainline the beans if the drink weren’t available
3. No other substance could literally support a billion dollar industry that has representatives rivaling McDonald’s. Suck it beer.
4. Move over compulsive exercisers, because this is the most socially accepted addiction ever.
5. If you drink too much alcohol you are labeled an alcoholic and have to go to classes like a sucker. No such stigma for coffee drinkers. So go ahead, drink that whole pot you pathetic junkie.
6. Coffee smells better than everything. Nothing comes close…except apple cider and donuts but if you had those every day you would balloon up as fast as Eddy Murphy puts on a fat suit for money. It’s amazing how often he has tried that fat thing… Idiot.
7. Science rationalizes coffee ALL the time. It prevents gout! It’s an antioxidant! It reduces your risk of Gallstones! It makes you see Jesus! Science can’t stop thinking of weird ways that coffee is baller. I can see them all sitting around in lab coats, guzzling coffee, and as the time goes by they get more excited from the caffeine and more frenetic about their slanted research.
8. Coffee has improved ice cream, milk, candy, and has provided us with an enormous source of caffeine. We have impregnated a ton of different things with said caffeine that would otherwise be boring and not worthwhile. I feel like people who drink energy drinks are just being disrespectful.

I'm getting another coffee. BOOYAH

That time of the month

2010-10-12T17:08:00.000-07:00

Harry Potter/Hugh Grant marathon!

In an effort to balance my highlight posting with lowlight posting, I figured I should give some insight into recovery weeks (hence the title) I'll give you sort of a timeline of the days leading up to it.

T-3 days to recovery week: Feeling like lead is pumping into my muscles. Heart rate doesn't make sense with effort level. Begging for time off.
T-2 days to recovery week: Appetite is kind of gone. Lower ass half sinks in the water and makes my pool workouts suck. Reluctantly eat some carbs to get ready for the next day.
T-1 day to recovery week: One more monster effort where I allow myself to be completely detonated. Can take this day as deep as possible. Generally feels like SHITE.

Recovery week! It sounds so nice. Sort of like vacation. Newsflash bloggers: I am in the middle of one and it isn't that cool.
My appetite returns like a demon straight out of Hitler's corner of hell and I spend nearly all waking hours either eating or thinking about eating. Nothing can stop me and once I get a taste of, say, popcorn, I won't stop til I have eaten at least 40% of the food that doesn't require any preparation.
My legs feel like cookie dough for at least 4 days if I am properly tired from the training.
My motivation sort of droops like a dead flower and I do very little in the way of being a contributing member of society.
Specific accomplishments in recovery week are basically limited to the following:
1. dressing yourself to go outside
2. stopping yourself from eating your own hand during a binge session
3. And the big one: watching every harry potter/ hugh grant movie in one week (sound impossible?)
4. Not napping every time you find yourself alone.

I snapped this picture just as Hugh Grant was launching his container of baked beans at me. I waited in his bushes for 6 hours and when I asked for an autograph and he gave me his dinner instead. He also verbally abused me and kicked me in the ribs.

Couple things

2010-10-12T12:07:00.000-07:00

Couple things today...

My Mom told me to talk more about the women's race so, begrudgingly, I will. Why begrudgingly? Because the depth of the women's field is really weak in my opinion. That might not be fair as Chrissie may be the best women's athlete ever... so comparisons are a bit slanted... The men's field doesn't have a Chrissie but they have 20 guys who could win. Natascha Badmann could get away with swimming a 1:03 and still win the race like 6 or 7 times. That put her back like 8 minutes... in the men's race if you miss the front pack by more than 2 minutes you can kiss your race goodbye unless you plan on setting a bike course record. Sharpen up Yvonne Van Vlerken... Swimming over an hour is unprofessional.

No one can really touch the top 3 girls in the sport. That being said, the top three girls are RIDICULOUS. Sadly, Chrissie dropped out. Down to 2. Julie Dibens and Mirinda Carfrae...and they didn't let us down. Dibens popped out in the lead and proceeded to bike out of her mind. But Mirinda, with a much improved swim, was nipping at her heels. She unleashed on the bike (nothing compared to Dibens who looked super smooth and metronomic) and then went to work on the run... Holy god. Dibs was running really well but Rinny is in another area code. She took the win with a 2:53 marathon! 2:53 stacks up really well with the male pros.... it doesn't just stack up, she destroyed most of the male pro field on the run. Amazing race but you can't help but ask: what happens if Chrissie starts?

Second thing- Saturday was my final big day in my 3 week ironman build. 85 miles on the bike and 12 miles on the run at race pace. First 10 minutes on the bike and I knew my legs had not showed up to the party. Sluggish, gummy, and heavy. Not a good thing for fighting coastal wind. It didn't seem to matter though as my speed was fine. I kept the effort high even though my heart rate was super depressed from huge fatigue. I finished with an average of 23.4 mph! I hope this speed translates to Ironman because if I can hit a 23.4 mph average I am biking in the 4:40's... huge if.
The best part of the workout was getting off the bike, loading up with coke and setting off with fresh running legs. I felt really comfortable for the first 4 miles @ 7:29 pace. I loaded up with some more coke and stepped up the pace. Again, comfortable @ 7:25 pace for 4 miles... more coke and again, comfortable @ 7:14 for 4 miles. I started to feel the edge going 7:15's but I finished feeling pretty good, knowing I could do a buttload more if need be. Average for 12 miles was about 7:23's.

85 miles @ 23.4 mph
12 miles @ 7:23's

I've got to think that translates, right?

Next up- recovery week and then doing everything I can to be ready for the race.

PROOF THAT I AM SMARTER THAN YOU

2010-10-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

ok ok... so you may have seen kona... Best race EVER. Forget Mark and Dave in 89. This was insane. But before you watch the clip, I would like to direct you to my previous kona blog and specifically this line:

"Raelart runs a 2:44 to win if it is warm. He was a few cups of Gatorade away from winning his first one and was pinning Crowie for a good while. Macca will surprise people and will win if it is cool."

Guess what happened. Raelart and Macca ran shoulder to shoulder from mile 21... CLOUD COVER came and cooled the race a bit.... ANNNDDD....Macca wins!!!! The definitive move was made as Raelart went for a cup at an aid station... again a few cups of gatorade short. What did Raelart run? 2:44. Thank you.

WATCH TO SEE HOW SMART I AM

Kona

2010-10-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

Kona… I love it so much. To me it is the combination of the Super Bowl and the birth of a child. Nothing makes me more excited. I have three people to watch. My good training buddy, Anthony Barton, is ready to go. Teammate Michelle is carrying a load of fitness from Placid. Kyle Visin, a guy who has been helping me train for Ironman, is poised to run the fastest amateur marathon… He ran a 3:02 in Arizona!

The pro race is going to be incredible too. It will be fireworks big time and not like normal fireworks. Disney world fireworks. Things that blow up into a sparkly Mickey Mouse head or the Disney Castle. Exceptional. Here are my picks.

Women’s:

It will take an act of God to stop Chrissie. Even that may not be enough (she lost something like 15 minutes with flats 2 yrs ago)... With an 8:19 at Challenge Roth (running a 2:48) she will absolutely kill everyone. It’s not even worth really discussing anyone else but Mirinda Carfrae and Tereza Marcel are again on great form. Julie Dibens will lead the race and maybe for a long while, but she can’t match Chrissie’s or Mirinda’s pace for a marathon even if she were running a 10k. No chance. Chrissie takes it lowering her course record again.

Men’s:

Completely wide open. The easy pic is Crowie and he is coming in with a perfect fitness and peaking better than last year. I don't buy that he has a weak bike but honestly I don’t think he has the fastest marathon (see Macca’s 2:42 and 2:45) in the field. Raelart and Henning were impressive with huge wins in Germany this yr. Macca and Stadler have been completely overlooked. Here’s my take… Crowie loses out. Raelart runs a 2:44 to win if it is warm. He was a few cups of Gatorade away from winning his first one and was pinning Crowie for a good while. Macca will surprise people and will win if it is cool. His race schedule was super light and his marathon is still the best in the field... including Crowie. Henning can’t close the race but will be in the hunt. Despite running and training like hell, Lieto still can’t win the race but will be involved late in the game again. You have to be a mongrel to win here and the only people who can win this race up top are Macca, Crowie, and Raelart. Forget Llanos, Stadler, Henning, Bozzone, Bockel, Beke, Potts, Bracht, and Lieto because they don’t have the mental goods to win in this field. You can’t rely on others making mistakes in this year’s race... As an aside, Fraser Cartmell will be in the top 10 in his first go.

The race also coincides with my last huge workout of the year before IM florida. 4hrs on the bike and a 13 mile run all at race pace... all my training days have been rungs on the ladder leading up to this. I have had a huge IM build that I am really confident in. This is the icing on the cake. Once I am done, I am glued to the computer to watch some red, shiney Mickey Mouse heads blow up.

Ugly Training

2010-10-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

After taking a look at my previous posts it has becoming incredibly clear that I am only posting highlights of my training. People keep saying things like, “wow your training is ridiculous/ epic/ making me feel like less of a man… you are such a cool dude/ beast/ sexy hybrid animal who could run himself to death” How flattering. But utterly false. I want to share the less glamorous training so you get that it isn’t all setting pr’s and shattering ceilings. In fact it is almost none of that.

My training has been consistent from last November until now. I have missed probably 2 weeks in that time due to sickness. At that time my fitness was such that a continuous 20 min swim was all I could manage. Forget about a 2 hour bike ride. 23 mph was a thoroughly taxing effort. The climate of the Dominican had something to do with it but my standard run pace was about 8:30-9 min/mile. It has come a long way since then but the bottom line is the everyday stuff is mindless steady training. Sometimes it feels good and is respectable. More often than not it is shamefully slow. I sometimes stop to walk during runs where things aren’t firing. I go on rides where I don’t take my speedometer because it would just annoy me and make me do stupid things in training. I specifically pick running routes where no one will see me because I want to be alone in my slowness and shameful turdgery.

I don’t hesitate to be all sorts of flashy when I am doing race simulations as I am a vain peacock of a man but I would say the big workouts that seem awesome make up about 1 percent of my training over the last year. The rest is steady consistency. It’s the best. No fireworks and not huge hours relatively but it works for me.

For example… today I got up and ran/ waddled through a medium run. Super slow. I have run this route probably a good 5 minutes faster feeling really easy but today wasn’t the day. That doesn’t mean it was worthless. I was outside watching the sun come up on a trail system all to myself…

PRs are meant for races. Training PRs happen but aren’t the goal. Enjoy the process and don’t chase numbers. Let them come to you.

Nutrition Bible. Read this because I'm smarter than you.

2010-10-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

Today I was out on a ride, thinking about the previous day's workout. It went awesome butI hate those long days mainly because I have to practice my race nutrition plan on them... Race nutrition is the biggest bunch of bull shit ever. Think about how many triathletes say "oh I would have nailed that race but i screwed up my nutrition" or "I was clicking along at 6 minute miles then I started barfing fruit punch gatorade right and left" or " I drank too much hammer heed and started hallucinating that Bon Jovi was sexually harassing me" .... too many.

This is the ultimate scam perpetrated by marketing departments. This sugary garbage is hugely overpriced but the kicker is... most of it fails MISERABLY at its only goal: keeping you functioning in a race situation.

Most of you who know me, know I am very opinionated. Also, you probably know I am nearly always right... basically what I am saying is what follows can essentially be treated as the definitive BIBLE, if you will, of race nutrition:

Now, I know bloggers really aren't that smart and can't handle reading things without pictures so I will do my best to dumb this down by creating a metaphor (don't be scared... this still isn't a book) relating nutrition companies to high school social hierarchy.

PLEASE! Before you drink the Race Nutrition Kool-Aid... read this.

Gatorade is like that girl in high school who does everything. She is the head cheerleader, she sings in the choir, she is the student council president. You see her everywhere. Also, she is in your advanced classes, pretending to be smart, and constantly asks really stupid questions. You see where I am going.

Gatorade is useless. Despite having derrick jeter telling you it's sweet and having a crap load of "science" behind it, it fails ALL THE TIME. If it hasn't failed you, give it time. The only people it may not fail are golfers, race car drivers, and baseball players. They could drink battery acid and perform fine. But also, they aren't athletes. Gatorade- you suck.

Clif bar is like that hippie girl in your classes who, at first, looks really interesting and says cool anti-establishment things. Then you get closer to her and she smells like rotten mexican food and sweat. Also, she is a painter and her art sucks.

Clif bar touts its organic ness and how the company takes "the road less travelled"...I puked in my mouth and I am not even eating their crap product. Who gives a S^%$ about organic. Last thing I am thinking about when I am puking clif bloks all over my bike shorts is how environmentally conscious the company is. Clif Bar- you are progressive but you still suck.

Hammer nutrition. HA! Hammer is that horribly acne'd, hugely obese, horrifically mean person in high school. You look for the best in everyone but, after thorough investigation, this person really has no redeemable qualities. Amazing, I know.

I can't even believe they are still in business. Every product is a failure. AN EPIC FAILURE. This company is so out of touch it's insane. You're better off drinking bacon fat and eating cake frosting. Hammer- you suck more than I can express in words.

Moral of the story is the only thing that works is water. Water is sadly not enough for long races. That being said... Powerbar and Gu gel get a blue ribbon for winning this toilet bowl of pathetic products. Congrats, you guys suck the least.

Coke also gets an honorable mention as accidentally being probably the best product around for racing. Imagine if it was still made with coca leaves. That stuff was probably off the charts.

Flying

2010-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

Today I got up at 6 and jumped in the car and headed for my "time trial" course I have been riding for the last month. It is a bit tougher than IM florida but is the best simulation because it is on the coast so it usually gets good wind.

However, today the wind gods were asleep and I got through 60 miles on the bike before they woke up. I was ON FIRE. I went through 60 miles at 24.2 mph average. The winds kicked up as I was pushing the pace back home. I ended up hitting 95 miles at 23.7 mph average! (100 miles total) My ass muscles were completely detonated, but I felt more or less fresh.

I jumped off the bike, loaded up with coke, and set off on the run... I was clicking along ok but my gut was swelling like crazy due to a bird food-like clif bar and a huge breakfast. The first 4 miles looked like a pregnancy in time lapsed photography. I was swelling like an oompa loompa. A trip to the port-a-potty later and I was sorted. I finally found a rhythm and I ended up with 9.2 miles @ 7:30 pace (9.75 miles total with a waddly cool down)

let me recap:

95 miles @ 23.7 mph

9.2 miles @ 7:30 min/mile

That is flying! It was under control too... Still one more ladder rung to go. But it was a perfect day all around.

Brownlee

2010-10-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

Alistair Brownlee was a baller even when he was 8... Look at that face. He takes it deeper than anyone.

Nerves

2010-10-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Wow. Can't believe this but I wanted to throw you guys an update...

I am super nervous for this Saturday. I am basically posting this for some accountability. I am jittery for my planned workout. 100 mile ride 10 mile run. This is non-negotiable and massive bricks are critical for Ironman success.

I will post how it goes. No short cuts.

Another thing I am trying to do is lean out by COMPLETELY cleaning my diet up. I am blasting through pounds of Salad, Lemon Water, and Nuts. I have cut out cereal and the majority of processed food. I am on day five of being super on top of it and I am doing really well and seeing results already. It's amazing how puffy mid night cereal makes you.

Stay tuned for Saturday.

Heating UP!

2010-09-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

Check out this picture of MJ in NBA JAMS (arguably the best game of our generation)

I can basically hear the velvety baritone of the announcer bellowing, "He's HEATING UP!!"

Currently this applies to both my environment and my training. Let me explain:

1. Calabasas is going through a ridiculous heat wave... It hit 113 degrees yesterday. To further clarify, 113 is the temperature where your eyeballs start getting hot. I was biking down a hill and the wind hitting my face literally was warming up my eyeballs in their sockets. Thankfully, my commute is about 20 minutes so I took the actual workout inside on my powerbeam pro trainer. My eyeballs didn't get a chance to turn to eye gu but I am convinced they were close to the eyeball melting point.

2. My training is heating up in the same way MJ was. The main stuff is going really well. This last weekend I hit a race simulation workout on Saturday. 75 miles of riding and 7.5 miles of running. The 75 mile ride started out under control but fast. I hit the turn around only to see one of the members of Erin Baker's triathlon team. Just when I was thinking, " you are about to be shot out the back, Hombre," he blew by me like I was on a tandem tricycle with a freeloading presubway Jared on the back. Not so fast. I started giving it a bit of juice and he let off the gas and I was on him again. We rode the next 20 miles with a bit of a tailwind at 25+ mph. Too hard for ironman but I wanted to see if getting out of my zone would make me blow up and how fast.

I left him at mile 40 of my ride and settled back into my pace with a massive wind right in my face. I was through mile 56 @ 23.2 mph. My front tire flatted shortly after that and a quick fix later, I rode in to start my run... I changed, loaded up with water and set out. The first 5k felt good and was at 7:24 pace. I backed off a bit after loading up on water and the next 4k was a bit slower. I finished the run @ about 7:05-7:10 pace with a total average of 7:27 pace for 7.5 miles. No blow up despite getting carried away on the bike.

Overall stats 22.6 mph for the bike with a good portion into major headwinds, 7:27's for the run in the proper zone. He's heating up!

Stay tuned for a bigger workout this Saturday.